Lotus Lesbian

I honestly don’t think I wrote about the first season of “The White Lotus.” Not that I didn’t think it was well done and worth watching. The HBO Max anthology series set across a chain of expensive boutique hotels has become a sharp-elbowed showcase for its always talented casts. But the first season’s examination of the wretched rich felt down-right cruel in its treatment of its poorer, working-class characters — all the workers’ denouements were worse than their ultra-rich customers. And that’s just depressing. We get enough of that shit in the real damn world. Also there weren’t any lesbians in the fist season.

Luckily, the second season took some notes and while its still a tragi-comedy with cutting commentary on the lives of the 1% and dynamics of social power, the show has chosen to shift away from wealth as its theme this to sex. Yes, I know that probably makes me sound horny. Look, I’m newly single. Times are, uh, tough. Anyway. If you haven’t watched the season finale be warned, SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD.

So the most welcome thing about the new season is that the working-class characters finally, finally get to triumph. And aren’t, you know, accidentally murdered by hotel guests. This season, set in stupidly gorgeous Sicily, continues the show’s posh, ominous tension.

Also, this season had Aubrey Plaza, Meghann Fahy, more Jennifer Coolidge and an actual lesbian character who does not die. Yes, that’s right, the lesbian gets a happy ending as do pretty much all of the show’s less wealthy, working-class characters — heck, even the working girls. Now, isn’t that fucking refreshing?

Valentina, played to perfection by Italian actress and comic Sabrina Impacciatore gets a truly lovely arc, as well as some of the show’s most quietly moving moments (I just loved her back alley lunch with the street kittens). Granted, this is still another form of coming out story — but it’s an old chestnut for a reason. But you got the sense that you really witnessed the moment someone’s life changed — and for the better. And that sex scene with Beatrice Grannò’s Mia was, well, hot. It was hot. Yes, I already copped to being horny. Leave me alone.

Maybe it’s because I binged the second season all in one day (I wanted to watch before the finale could be spoiled on Sunday), but it wasn’t too tricky guessing the key plot points. Of course Albie got scammed. Of course Portia went for the “hot” boy instead of the “nice” boy. Of course Dominic will cheat again. Of course those high-end gays were trying to kill Tanya. Also, do you think Aubrey’s character being called “Harper” is the universe fixing the ending of “The Happiest Season?”

Now, was I expecting Tanya to go on a murderous rampage at the end, only to accidentally off herself? Well, a little. I was pretty sure the body in the water from the first episode was Tanya’s (the show even foreshadowed how she dies with Valentina’s concerned expression as Tanya got off the boat to come to the resort in the first place, watch again, she indeed does). But the shooting all of the faux upper crust queers on the boat? No, I was not expecting that. Is having Jennifer Coolidge onscreen murder gays a hate crime? Did we just beat ourselves up in a parking lot? I kid. But it sure was a twisted love letter to Jennifer’s status as a queer icon.

Right, so, thoughts? Did you like the second season? More than the first? Also is anyone else hopelessly earwormed by the show’s theme song? As soon as the “woo-woos” drop, admit it, you do them along with the music. And if you don’t, omg, try it. It’s so fun. Look, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. That song’s a banger, period.

Well, now I can’t wait to book myself into the third season of “The White Lotus.” Just, please, keep giving us the “woo-woos” and lesbians.