Happy En-Gay-gment

Well, now that the big en-GAY-gment news is out, time to look back at what has made K-Stew America’s Lesbian Sweetheart. Kidding! There’s no such thing as America’s anything because we’re all living in corrosive and conflicting parallel universes, some with very little understanding and willful disregard for basic facts. But, anyway, the good news is still no matter what political universe you live in Kristen Stewart remains “So gay, dude.” I’ve found Kristen’s public persona to be pretty fascinating. She has gone from very obviously reluctant teen starlet to obviously reluctant movie star to what she is today – a marquee celebrity who eschews most big budget products in favor of indie fare and is also very, very out and gay. So, here’s a look back at K-Stew’s gay-volution since coming out, officially, in that SNL monologue in February 2017. And mazel tov to Kristen and her screenwriting fiancée Dylan Meyer (who co-wrote “Moxie” btw, which I enjoyed). May you live long, gay, happy lives together.

The Monologue, Feb. 2017

We all have a coming out story, but we don’t all have a coming out story that includes going on national television to essentially telling Donald Trump to leave you alone and fuck off.

The Chop, March 2017

Almost exactly a month after her “So gay, dude” heard around the world K-Stew shaved her head which, relatable.

The Regrowth, August 2017

Also relatable, wearing hats during that awkward growing back out after shaving one’s head phase.

The Greaser, May 2018

I mean, who hasn’t channeled their inner Danny Zuko a time or two?

The Roxbury, Jan. 2019

Frosted tips and shiny suits 4Eva!

The Zuko Redux, Sept. 2019

I mean leather jackets never truly go out of style, right?

The Vest, Oct. 2019

Anytime a vest is substituted as a top, well, gayness is happening.

The Everything, Nov. 2019

Truly, the hat, the jacket, the pose, the rolled sleeves, the hand in pocket. Everything, including the “Charlie’s Angels.”

The Wow, Nov. 2019

Obviously, thanks to the “Charlie’s Angels,” we’re in a very gay period. Call them the Gay ‘19s, if you will. Also the last of the wondrously unaware Before Times pre COVID.

The Sophisticate, Oct. 2020

Getting dressed up for that first big pandemic outing is always a challenge.

The Dad, Sept. 2021

There’s always a bowling shirt phase, always.

The Vintage, 2001

Yep, even 20 years ago we knew. We knew.