Pre-L: Late to the Party (201)

When last we saw our intrepid lesbians (queers and assorted exes), they were lesbianing extra hard. Bette loses. Sophie chooses. Alice monogamies. Micah (accidentally) cheats. Shane dogs, but truly literally this time. And they’re back!

I don’t know how much Pre-Ling I’ll be able to do this new season. But I’ll do my best to bring you steady sneak peeks at all the lesbian drama (and bi-drama, and trans drama, and non-binary drama and drama drama because what is TLW without DRAMA). I’ll post them on Fridays after this week’s early steaming preview of the new season, so sit back and make yourself comfortable. (But not in a chair. We’re queer women, we never sit normally in chairs.)

1) Sophie’s choice

Um, serious question, is this the Bachelor/Bachelorette house? Sorry, am I revealing too much about my household’s trashy TV habits?

2) A metaphor.

And a not necessarily subtle one at that.

3) Like looking in a mirror-ish

Big Name Alert: less than 5 minutes in.

4) Suburban bliss personified.

At least she got what sounds like a book deal out of it.

5) A Rosie by any other name.

Second Big Name Alert: Less than 10 minutes in.

6) Cards against humanity.

When you still haven’t put away your pandemic game night pieces yet.

7) Pity party for one, please.

Whoever is dressing Jennifer/Bette this season, yes to these lapels.

8) Yes, obviously, we all know this happens.

But, and I mean this sincerely, who makes out in the middle of a nice restaurant? Like, a club? Sure. A restaurant where you show up in Tom Ford? I’m just trying to enjoy the scallops, is all I’m saying.

9) When you fuck up, own it.

Again, we are all clear on Shane’s doghouse statues.

10) Please see above.

Those who do not learn from not-that-distant “The L Word” history are doomed to repeat it.

11) When you love mess.

Honestly, spent the last 5 minutes just running scenarios on how this was all going to go tragically wrong.

12) Yep.

Like, are they gonna end up in the back of a bus together or what? If you get that reference, well, then you know I have just one word for you: plastics.

As predictable as some of that felt, fuck yeah am I thrilled to have these big old homosexuals (and other assorted queers) back on my television screen. Welcome back, lesbians. Welcome back.