Tuesday, August 27, 2019

The Dark Rey Side

So I’m what I think the kids today call an OG Star Wars Stan. Like, I just brought home a box of my childhood vintage Star Wars figures from my visit back home. And I still have all their accessories – like Han Solo’s gun and Leia’s bounty hunter helmet and all the Ewok’s headpieces. So, yeah, I stan.

I’ve greatly enjoyed the new “Star Wars” films, and have an even greater appreciation of them putting women and minorities front and center in a galaxy that before left them largely on the margins. So I am looking forward to the final part this new trilogy, “Rise of Skywalker.” And the teaser from D23 only made me look forward to it more – with one important caveat.



I swear if they make this end with a Dark Rey/Evil Daenerys slain by Savior Jon Snow/Kylo Ren situation I will go double-bladed lightsaber on ALL THE MEN IN HOLLYWOOD. Seriously, I cannot take another build-up of a female heroine only to have her unceremoniously go nuts and get killed. Can. Not.

Granted, I don’t actually think that’s where they’re taking the Star Wars universe. First I don’t think they’d casually drop that massive of a spoiler in a first-look teaser trailer. This is probably a vision or, at most, a brief temptation.

But also I have to believe that at least one person at Disney would be like, hey, maybe let’s not destroy all of the goodwill we built up through two new films by doing a full reversal of character with Rey. Right?



I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think Dark Rey looks badass and you gotta love that double-switchblade lightsaber. But anything more than just a brief fashion adventure on the Dark Side is totally unacceptable. That is unless she starts carrying a full Swiss Army Knife lightsaber, then at least she’ll have all the gay ladies on her side.


3 comments:

  1. Carmen SanDiego7:07 AM

    My first thought seeing Darth Rey was “oh so cool” and then I was immediately terrified of the Daenerys Evil flip
    Please please please not that, I love Rey
    Oh, also I’d love to see these original Star Wars action figures

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  2. The only reason I have my beloved Swiss Army knife is the corkscrew. "Red" has been around the world with me, and yes the other blades/options are very useful. Can I have an AMEN?

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  3. A Swiss Army light-saber? You're a genius. I want one!!!

    I don't know anything about where the plot will be going, but here's an idea: maybe Rey has an evil twin. After all, in the Star Wars universe twins seem to be more common than in our universe. And, like Luke, she's a bit uncertain about the circumstances of her birth. OK, that will be pushing the "surprise relatives" factor of the franchise to pretty ridiculous levels, but why not?

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