Monday, August 26, 2013

Naked Lady Monday: VMA Edition

With each passing year I get more, “You kids get off my lawn!” about the MTV VMAs. So much noise, posturing and bright lights. And I know this year everyone wants to talk about Miley Cyrus and her tongue, teddy bears and twerking on some Footlocker employee who wandered onstage. (True Fact: If you say Beetlejuice three times Robin Thicke appears to have Miley grind on him.) While I, like everyone else, have the tendency to shake my head at Hannah Montana’s current shenanigans, I also don’t think there’s anything particularly new and/or scandalous about female pop stars going through a look-at-me-I’m-so-raunchy phase and/or career. Please see Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna et al. To quote the lady herself, “It’s our body we can do what we want to.” It’s not the end of the civilized world as we know it. Though, honey, those flesh-tone bikini bottoms are doing no one any favors.



But what I’d rather talk about is the fact that Lady Gaga sold her new single “Applause” to the Kia hamsters. What the what? Look, I understand everyone needs to make a buck. I have no problem with blatant commercialism. This is America and capitalism is our only one true religion. But if you’re going to shill for some dancing rodents, please don’t name your album “ARTPOP” and expect us to take it seriously. Though, in her defense, “Applause” is the best damn anthem for Tinkerbell that anyone has ever written.



Also, just to make sure my Gay Card gets renewed (I mean, even Obama acknowledged Gaga as our fearless leader), the Lady does have the most amazing ass. Sure, that seashell underwear was probably uncomfortable. But at least it gave us this. Now that is dedication to one’s art.


7 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:30 PM

    I can't help but think the difference between now and that phase(?) of Madonna's career is the current virulently misogynist environment we're enduring. I don't want to slut-shame or imply women should "cover up", but I find the extreme objectification younger female celebs are going for just painful to watch. It's as if they're not there, just their bodies. Then again, Lady GaGa's ass is something to behold, so...

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  2. Anonymous5:52 PM

    Do gay women not ever get over the seeming obsession with staring at women's bodies and more specifically, posting photos? This behavior seems more typical of teenage boys.
    It's like your stuck.
    no,no, nothing wrong with beautiful bodies. not saying that at all. But between debating whether or not a young and clueless actress should be a representative of the lesbian community and posting photos of near naked women, I don't see much depth to your blog. I'm sure I've missed some more analytical posts.

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  3. "missed some analytical posts"

    Um, yes, yes, you have missed the analytical . . .

    With that said, can I hate on this Thicke #2 dude? The first Thicke made me barf as a young child and now we have another one? Is this a clone thing?

    I DVR'd Breaking Bad and watched Dexter's cute butt, but I also recorded GaGa's (butt). That's all I really wanted actually, (that and Katherine Moening_). I knew GaGa was going to unveil a new body and it looks not-skinny now, which is a positive in THIS day and age of bones of 12 year old girl-bodies on women. (that was a mouth full)

    I just saw a poster of Pennsatucky which says "Miley Cyrus needs Jesus". (Prayer vigil for Miley tonite at 11)

    http://instagram.com/p/dfleUOMvVy/#

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  4. "your stuck" <--- it is you're (contraction for "you are"

    we now know you are an illiterate rwnj troll

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  5. Anonymous8:50 PM

    omg I did make the your-you're mistake that I mock others for. I may be a troll but I am not illiterate! The only thing worse is the dreaded, 'I seen.' I still think she is stuck though. Do gay women not move on from salivating over young bodies? If a straight guy were consistently posting these pics I'd be like, sheesh, grow up dude.
    I'll look back for more analytical posts but it's tedious having to wade through tank top whatever and my crush is and etc.

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  6. LOL Much as I can see your point Anonymous ( yet disagree as I easily see several more analytical posts), I fail to see the tedium in scrolling past pictures of gorgeous women.

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  7. Anonymous8:18 PM

    Regarding "getting past" the "immature" tendency to enjoy pictures of beautiful women...

    Although I absolutely DO see why you might make this kind of comment...

    Many of this blog's faithful readers (myself included) enjoy ALL of Snarker's posts- from the very intellectual thoughts on politics and current social events to the not-so-intellectual Naked Lady Monday posts. Perhaps many of us enjoy the opportunity to overtly and collectively celebrate and enjoy our women-loving pleasure because we have been forced to publicly hide this part of ourselves in our daily lives. The internet may be the only forum in which some readers have the opportunity to just BE the lady-loving women that they are. So why not celebrate openly while we have the chance?

    Also, I too fail to see the tedium in scrolling past pictures of beautiful women! ;)

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