Tank Top Tuesday: Olympics Edition Part I

Right, remember when I said I was gonna write a lot about the Olympics? Toldja. Also, a technical note. For the interest of these Olympic Games I shall be expanding the official definition of “tank top” to include “sports bras.” I hope we can all agree at this small technical point of order. And with that, please enjoy the show.

Lolo Jones, United States, hurdles

I just started following her on The Twitters. Her tweets are almost as funny as her abs are impressive.

Katie Taylor, Ireland, boxing

Is it possible to be adorable and intimidating?

Federica Pellegrini, Italy, swimming

Stretching is hot important.

Yelena Isinbayeva, Russia, pole vault

Quiet, I’m having a religious experience.

Jessica Ennis, Great Britain, track & field

Now I wish we’d never had that revolution.

Saori Yoshida, Japan, wrestling

Maybe I should watch wrestling more if it ends up like this.

Sophie Schmidt, Canada, soccer

I call her the Canadian Rapinoe.

Amélie Cazé, France, modern pentathlon

I did not realize looking like a badass was an Olympic sport.

Valerie Adams, New Zealand, shot put

Another kind of gun show.

Caster Semenya, South Africa, track & field

Gender test this..

Allyson Felix, United States, track & field

Take out the dictionary definition of “fast” and insert this picture.

Natalie Cook, Australia, beach volleyball

That’s alotta gay lady laying herself out. Ahem

The Netherlands, Field Hockey Team

Tank dresses totally count too. And four members of the team are out gay ladies. So Dutch treat, indeed.

Let the ogling begin

Yes, I plan to write a lot about the Olympics. Like a lot. Yes, I am aware some of you don’t like the Olympics. Like a lot. But, no, I will not stop writing a lot about the Olympics. They only happen every four years. And they only last for two weeks. So I ask for your patience while indulging my unapologetic joy in all things Olympics and even more unapologetic ogling of all the Olympic athletes. And while we’re at it, how about that lesbian kiss in the opening ceremonies? Missed it? Did you blink at any point? Then, yeah, you probably missed it. But it was very definitely there and it was very definitely awesome.

In case you missed it, here it is. During the weird love story section where Frankie and June danced and texted, a bunch of great kisses were included in a montage. And among them was the first lesbian kiss on “pre-watershed” (i.e. during the family friendly time period) British TV from the soap Brookside. Look for it right after Lady and Tramp share their spaghetti smooch.

I know! Ladies kissing! Opening Ceremony! Thank you, Danny Boyle! About a billion people worldwide saw that, including in countries where homosexuality is illegal like Saudi Arabia. Sure, it lasted a split second. But it was there. We were there. We were included. It was, well, pretty fucking cool.

Also pretty fucking cool? The entire US Olympic Swimming Team singing “Call Me Maybe.” Why? Why not.

But just in case ladies kissing and Olympians lip dubbing don’t get you excited for these next two weeks, then you can always cheer yourself up by playing the official My Drunk Kitchen Olympics Drinking Game.

My Weekend Crush

I’ve always loved the Muppets. My family used to gather on the couch and watch “The Muppet Show” together and the theme song send a warm, welcome wave of nostalgia over me from its very first notes. And now those loveable fuzzballs become even more sensational, inspirational, celebrational and Muppet-ational with their stance on the homophobic fast-food company Chik-fil-A and gay marriage. This week, the Jim Henson Company posted this on its official Facebook page:

The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD.

Now, I realize the Jim Henson Company sold the Muppets to Disney long ago. But it’s really the spirit of Henson and his fuzzy faced friends that I am celebrating here. I love the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, The Dark Crystal – all his goofy and gangly and good-natured creations. They are the epitome of that rainbow connection, where the lovers, dreamers and even me can be embraced for exactly who we are. Keep your fried chicken, Chik-fil-A, and your embarrassing damage control attempts. Nothing tastes as good as equality feels. Happy weekend, all.

Stewing

Oh for fuck’s sake. Look, people cheat. It’s a not-so-great quality of our puny human hearts, but it happens. But what shouldn’t happen when someone, anyone cheats is that they then have to go issue a public apology to People magazine. Because you know what? That shit is nobody’s business but the people who cheated and the people who got cheated on. I know we had a little discussion here earlier this week on privacy and what people have the right to keep secret and what people have the responsibility to reveal. But having to issue a public apology to the universe for having an albeit ill-advised indiscretion with someone is a bit nuts. I mean, she did not cheat on us.

Indeed, this sort of thing is normally the stuff of salacious political scandals. We’re used to politicians having to apologize for fucking around on their wives because the public trust is involved. It makes more sense then, while it’s still mostly an exercise in shamegasming schadenfreude. Those cases can underscore hypocrisy from policymakers who wish to impose their so-called superior morals on the rest of us. (i.e. Conservative Congressmen who cheat, but tell us we can't get married to protect to sanctity of marriage.) But this whole thing is just unfortunate and unpleasant and private. You can practically see the gears of a massive PR machine grinding in the background. If this is really coming from her and a place of genuine contrition, so be it. But it seems so contrary to her two-fingered salute to caring about what people have thought about her in the past.

Also, boy, am I not looking forward to the misogynistic tidal wave that is about to be unleashed on Kristen. Just wait for the “Slutlight” and “Ho White” headlines, they’re coming. Look, I’m not pro-cheating. Respect the person you are with and the loved ones of all involved. I hate that a family and children and anyone has to be hurt. But, this? Ugh.

Anyway, to summarize, I hope the next time a 22-year-old decides to cheat on her boyfriend, nobody has to issue a press release to People fucking magazine.

p.s. To be honest, the most “shocking” thing about this whole “scandal” is that KStew chose to cheat with someone from “Snow White & the Huntsman” and didn’t have the good sense to pick Charlize.

Goooooooooooal

Turn on your TV right now. Right now. (Well, given your timezone and when you’re reading this.) But even if you’re reading this later you can get excited because women’s Olympic soccer is happening. While the opening ceremonies aren’t until Friday, the Olympics are very much on. The women started playing today and it is a wonderful thing. Women’s soccer always rises to the occasion when given the world stage and I have no doubt the players will do the same in London. I won’t even pretend I’m not an unapologetic homer when it comes to my soccer. Team USA, all the way. So in honor of the first day of play, here’s a very special Wednesday edition of Tank Top Tuesday for some of the wonderful women of the U.S. National Women’s Team.

Megan Rapinoe

Alex Morgan

Sydney Leroux

Heather Mitts

Tobin Heath

Amy LePeilbet

Shannon Boxx

Carli Lloyd

Abby Wambach

Christie Rampone

Hope Solo

USA! USA! USA! And, you know, have a great Olympics rest of the world, too.

Out of stardust

Space holds an undeniable romance. That final frontier. The expanse beyond the edges of our understanding. So those who go there, who touch the heavens, they too inspire awe and wonder among us. And to be the first, well, that’s where terms like “role model” and “hero” get thrown around. For a generation of girls, young and old, Sally Ride was that hero. The first U.S. woman in space, the very definition of a trailblazer, the inspiration for dreamers everywhere. The woman who made millions of little girls not only reach for, but know they could touch the stars. So her passing today was sad on many levels. One can never truly understand when a hero dies.

But tucked within the somber news was a very significant piece of news. Written into her obituary was this simple sentence:

“She is survived by Tam O’Shaughnessy, her partner of 27 years; her mother, Joyce; her sister, Bear, a niece and a nephew.”

Yes, universe, the first woman in space was also in a long-term, loving relationship with another woman for almost three decades. People rarely make news with their obituaries. But this, indeed, is news. This is the first time that Sally’s relationship was Tam was referred to anything other than “good friends.” Tam helped found and is COO and Executive Vice President of Sally Ride Science. She has also authored books with Sally. The two had known each other since Sally was 12.

Buzzfeed spoke with Sally’s sister, Bear, about her coming out by way of obituary. And Bear, who also happens to be a lesbian – though with a name like Bear, come on – said:

“I hope it makes it easier for kids growing up gay that they know that another one of their heroes was like them.”

So what does it all mean? A hero to all turns out to be a gay woman in private? It means both nothing and everything. Being gay doesn’t ever change who you are as a person. It doesn’t change what you’ve done – your contributions, your potential, your core. It’s just a little difference about who you fall in love with. Who you make your life with. Who you spend 27 years together with. So, Sally Ride was gay. She’s still awesome.

But then, in another way it means so much. Because in this little piece of news is another reminder that we, gay people, are no different than everyone else. And, sometimes, we can be unfathomably extraordinary. Gay men and women contribute to culture, to history, to science. Our contributions are an integral part of our society and this world. And each time one of us stands up and is counted as gay, our accomplishments are a reminder that we are everywhere and a part to everything.

So I wish Sally had come out during her life so we could have embraced her as a community and she could have seen what her coming out meant to all of us? Certainly. The age of coming out only in death à la Rock Hudson is gradually, happily fading into stardust as more and more people feel comfortable and safe being who they are in life. But what I really wish is that now, when little girls stare at the stars, they’ll know the amazing, inspiring woman who was the first to travel amid them was gay. And that we all have the ability to reach our dreams, no matter how high and how far and how vast. Safe travels back into the stars, Sally.

Body electric

The Olympics start this Friday and what better way to celebrate than to sing the praises of the body electric. After posting the deliciousness of Abby Wambach in her birthday suit I told you I’d come back and get the rest. So here are some very electric bodies from some of the other athletes featured in this year’s ESPN The Body issue, like the U.S. Nationals Volleyball Team above. Now doesn’t that put a nice jolt of electricity into your Monday.

Maya Gabeira, Brazilian surfer

Anna Tunnicliffe, U.S. sailor

Suzann Pettersen, Norwegian golfer

Candace Parker, U.S. basketball player

Ronda Rousey, U.S. mixed martial artist

Daniela Hantuchova, Slovakian tennis player

U.S. Nationals Volleyball Team

Carmelita Jeter, U.S. sprinter

My Weekend Crush

So the Emmy nominations came out and besides my enormous RAGEY feelings about “Parks & Recreation” being snubbed, again, what the list finally did was make me watch “Girls.” I know, I know. I am so fucking far behind. Here’s the thing. I went through the full gamut of emotions about the show without ever watching the show. It went a little like, “Wait, cool. Wait, not cool. Wait, backlash. Wait, backlash to the backlash. Wait, racist. Wait, feminist. Wait, how am I supposed to feel again?” So by the time I finally sat down to watch the show, I came at it with so many mixed emotions that it practically become white noise. In essence, I was almost like a blank slate again. And, after marathoning half the the whole season, I’ve decided I like it.

OK, hold on. First, I decided I definitely did not like it. That first episode, yeah. Gosh, that was pretty unlikeable. But slowly, but surely, I decided that this show was something exciting. A mess about youth that’s as messy as youth. At times thoughtful and at others terribly self involved, “Girls” managed to capture that terrifying, exhilarating process of trying to figure out who the fuck you are. And all that in a show created by and about young women? Well, that’s quite a thing. Are there problems, certainly. Yes, it needs more diversity. Yes, it needs less entitlement. Yes, it could be a more even. But some of that bumpy, lumpiness is what makes it relatable. Because while I can’t necessarily relate to all the situations that Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna find themselves in, I do enjoy seeing that jumble of missteps and revelations that is navigating your 20s through young women’s eyes.

And do you know what did it for me? It’s almost embarrassing, but at the end of the third episode when Hannah handles the double-whammy of bad news that 1) she has HPV and 2) her ex-boyfriend is gay by, well, dancing it out. Call me a sucker, but girls dancing together for the sheer joyful abandon of just dancing together gets me every time. Happy weekend, all.

That Megan Girl

I know, I know, I’ve been blathering on and on about how great it was to interview Megan Follows. But, really, it was great to interview Megan Follows. And now that interview is finally up. Please know that she used the words “delicious,” “utopia,” “shit” and “fuck” all within the confines of a very smart, very articulate 31 minute and 45 second conversation. And I loved every nanosecond of it.

You can read the interview yourself here. Enjoy.

The look

What does a lesbian look like, exactly? It’s a good question without a good answer. Because anyone who tells you he or she knows exactly what a lesbian looks like is wrong. Sure, we can generalize. I, myself, have a propensity for plaid shirts and Doc Martens. But that doesn’t mean al ladies who love ladies wear plaid and Docs or have alternative lifestyle haircuts or prefer cargo shorts and love blazers or own a closet full of clothing covered in cat hair.

So then, it’s particularly galling when people in positions of power who certainly should know better say incredibly stupid things about what lesbians look like. Like Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll who is currently embroiled in a lesbian sex scandal of her own. A fired former employee claims she caught the Republican Lt. Gov. and her travel aide in vag-rante* delicto (*because she was under her skirt at her, oh you know) in her office. The Lt. Gov has denied this claim, in possibly the stupidest way possible to deny this claim. Of, just watch for yourself.

In case you missed it: “Usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Oh, really? What do black women who do engage in relationships like that look like? Wanda Sykes? Tracy Chapman? Jasika Nicole? Meshell Ndegeocello? Alice Walker? Sheryl Swoopes? Please, I am dying to know. Sigh. The Huffington Post has made a nice response slideshow to this general idiotry thank to the Twitter hashtag #ThisIsWhatALesbianLooksLike. It’s well worth a look (and I even recognize some of your lovely face in there – hey girl!) Guess it’s time for a reminder. Lesbians look like a lot of things Women who love women come in all colors and shapes and sizes and clothing choices. Believe me, it would be a lot easier to find a date if we all looked the same and could identify each other more readily in a crowd. But as is we need to rely on shaky gaydar and that fool-proof strategy of steadfastly refusing to make eye contact while passively hoping that cute girl at the bar will come over and say hi. Because I sure can’t find the common visual trait between all these lesbian and bisexual women. Except they’re all beautiful women and think other women are beautiful.

Wanda Sykes

Ellen DeGeneres

Brandi Carlile

Tracy Chapman

Megan Rapinoe

Leisha Hailey

Jasika Nicole

Jane Lynch

Kirsten Vangsness

Sheryl Swoopes

Amber Heard

Rachel Maddow

Josephine Baker