Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Stop trying to make fetch happen

So last night while attempting to watch and understand my first episode of “Pretty Little Liars” (admittedly, jumping into a “Scooby-Doo with lesbians who aren’t Velma” teen mystery show in its second season is a little tricky), I saw an ad for an abomination. As in hell fire, eternal damnation, do not pass go do not collect $200 abomination. Why is there a “Mean Girls 2?” What fuckery is this? The direct-to-DVD sequel to the 2004 film that lacks a) original star Lindsay Lohan, b) original writer or co-star Tina Fey or c) any of the stars, story or – from the more than bland trailer – sophisticated sensibilities of the original. Boo, you whore! After a little research, I found out that Tina wisely declined (repeatedly) to be involved in any sequel shenaniganery. Instead lesbian director Melanie Mayron (the red-head from “thirtysomething”) directed the whole thing. For shame. As I was saying, an abomination.

So to cleanse the palate of such horrors (why, Disney, why must you resurrect something that was perfect and turn it into a Frankenstein monster no one wants?), let’s just celebrate the original. Watching it for the first time in the theater I discovered that a) this Lindsay Lohan girl can act, I hope she grows up nicely, b) this Tina Fey person can do a lot more than tell jokes behind a desk, I want to go to there and c) this movie is like “Heathers” for another generation, but in an amazing non-derivative way. You go, Glen Coco.



“Mean Girls 2” doesn’t even go here.

p.s. The original also gave us this Tina Fey in her bra. No sequel could ever improve on that. Ever.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:24 AM

    Love that last screengrab of TF in bra with LiLo looking on. It's probably what turned LiLo to our side...

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  2. I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!

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  3. On the bright side, though - they did repeat the original movie. So there's that.

    I found the marathon reshowing of the first season of Pretty Little Liars to be helpful in figuring out what was going on. Fortunately, I managed to catch most of it.

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  4. On the bright side, your Amy Winehouse reference made me spew out my coffee. You owe me a new keyboard.

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  5. "Get in loser, we're going [lezing]!"

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  6. Anonymous3:30 PM

    I saw the mean girl like two years ago
    on TV, I guess. Lohan is Lohan....

    feel Kind of...
    I even don't understand
    your posting today,

    what did you want to say today?

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  7. Anonymous11:35 AM

    saw the preview for #2....awful!

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