Gender Fuck Thursday

While all the bikini-clad lesbian amass in Palm Springs this weekend with their board shorts and their novelty tanks, I’d like to take this moment to sing the praises of a well-dressed woman. Now, I’ve got nothing against Dinah Shore Weekend. In general, I am very pro sweaty, drunken, semi-naked lesbians. But as an activity I want to immerse myself into for an entire weekend, um, no thanks. I never participated in wet T-shirt contests in college during my actual spring breaks, so why would I want to begin now as an adult who has a much longer and painful turn-around time from hangovers. Also, all white is so unflattering. Though for all you lovelies who are going, knock yourself out. Just remember: sunscreen, aspirin and hand sanitizer. Hey, that’s a lot of gay ladies in one place – you never know where those hands have been. And if you really want to stand out amid the madras shorts and flips flops, remember nothing says sexy like a suit.

Diane KrugerThere is nothing inglorious about the way she wears a suit.

Amy AdamsSuits are stylish and functional; that belt could double as a suitcase strap.

Marion CotillardLa vie en rock ‘n’ roll.

Tilda SwintonLike I could leave her out of one of these Thursdays.

Vera FarmigaJust showing Clooney how it’s done.

Zoe SaldanaShirts are, as always, optional.

Lea MicheleThough, if you’re shy, you can certainly cover up instead.

Marlene Dietrich

Now, does this not beat almost any bikini you’ve ever seen?