Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Delany delivers


Hey, Dana Delany. What happened to your pants? Not that I’m complaining. Nope, not complaining at all. You see, me and Dana go way back. So I feel perfectly comfortable ribbing her about her pantlessness. Also, hello, cleavage.

Dana Delany - More April 2010

Dude, since when have More magazine covers been this sexy? Am I browsing the wrong magazine age bracket? And it’s just as saucy inside. The article’s revelations:

The 54-year-old actress has always dreamed about being a man. And not just any man, but George Clooney. (The better to get all the ladies with, naturally.) OK, she says the real reason is because he is a “he’s a responsible human being who loves his life.” Though, truth be told, at age 9 she sort of looked like a boy. Also, did you know her great-grandfather invented the Delany Flush Valve for toilets. And she went to Wesleyan.

There is also, and I kid you not, a paragraph in the article that begins, “Ah, Delany’s big breasts.” Then in her next quote she uses the word “orgasm” not once, but twice. Seriously, why did no one tell me about More magazine before?

Finally, did you know Dana rents out the guesthouse at her West LA home? Why can I never find landlords like this?

Oh, Dana. As a person who thinks of military choppers and Army scrubs whenever “Reflections” by Diana Ross & the Supremes comes on, it cheers my heart to see Dana doing (and of course looking) so well. I had a Florence Nightingale-level crush on Dana in my early teens thanks to “China Beach.”She was so capable, yet so sensitive as Nurse Colleen McMurphy. I still get a little chill each time I hear the theme song.

So then, imagine my delight when she popped up as a power lesbian senator on “The L Word.” And, of course, imagine my delight at her lesbian relationship in “Desperate Housewives.” While I don’t watch the show, I certainly watch clips.

Granted, that clip seems to be mostly about Dana admiring Julie Benz’s breasts. But I’ll take it. And for once, no lesbian was hurt, killed, dumped or disappeared into the parking lot of no return at the end of this storyline. They went to gay Paris. Where, I am sure, they will live happily ever after admiring each other’s considerable, um, assets. Sheesh, see what happens when you read More magazine? Mind straight in the gutter. Happy hump day, indeed.

20 comments:

  1. I LOVE YOU FOR THIS. I know I mentioned my DH conversion because of her storyline. Add to it the fact that I just ordered the complete China Beach (it should be here in a matter of days... too excited) and have not one but TWO copies of this issue of More magazine on my desk. What? I bought one for a recent trip and forgot it at home... and Dana made me feel better while I was stuck inside of a pressurized tube hurtling through the sky.

    Seriously. This post just made my week. You, me, same wavelength. I greatly approve.

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  2. Also, how cute is she??

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  3. Anonymous4:41 AM

    I love Dana Delany, who doesn't? She pings my gaydar. She says she loves men and denies being bisexual, but - PING!

    Is China Beach really available on dvd? Legally? I'm not judging, just wondering. I never watched CB, idiot me.

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  4. Anonymous5:30 AM

    I love her! I'm the same way. Everytime I hear "Reflections" i think of China Beach. Probably first favorite adult drama. That is where I first fell in love with Miss Delany.

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  5. Oh my god. I felt in love with Dana when I saw her on The L Word. What a powerful character! Am I the only one that thinks this character should have more story... Ayayay...

    Also, I think Dana is sooooo gay.

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  6. Ah Dana. I have had the privilege of working with Dana way back in the day (pre-China Beach when we were both young and doing the regional theater gig). Absolute sweetheart. Whip smart and quick witted. When a piano she was about to play rolled off a platform, the offstage techies were reluctant to enter the fully lit stage to pick up and replace the piano. Finally the lights were lowered and the piano was restored. Dana, without a beat but with the drollest delivery, uttered her next line, "Nobody picks up anything around here" and happily waited for the roar of laughter that followed. One of the sweetest actresses ever and very cute in her Chuck Tayler high tops.

    Sans pants is also a very good look for her.

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  7. Is it true? China Beach on dvd? I've been waiting so long!

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  8. NightCSI8:49 AM

    OMG. I've paid no attention at all to DH, but that may have to change now! Loved China Beach! It fueled my Dana Delaney/Marg Helgenberger fantasy! ;)

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  9. You know, sometimes I think we might be great friends, or great enemies--one of the two--seeing as how we seem to have the exact same taste. My love for Tina Fey led me to your site, and now you're telling me you had a Florence Nightingale-sized crush on DD circa China Beach? Dana earned the indelible, forever gold star in my book for that role, and continues to delight...especially sans pants.

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  10. She looks fantastic!

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  11. She was on a two parter for CASTLE the other week! OMG - Dana + gun + Stana Katic.... *drool* I adore her, since China Beach, love her.

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  12. folkpants3:14 PM

    Your paragraph on China Beach was a transcript directly from my brain. Thank you for this.

    China Beach was where I fell in love with Dana (and The Supremes, a little) and is possibly in my top ten tv shows of all time.

    Your posts just make my days and weeks.

    And Dana sans pants is maybe better than army scrubs.

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  13. I saw that magazine cover in the checkout line yesterday. It was a long wait but somehow I didn't so much mind... Haha good catch DS.

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  14. i saw the cover in the aisle at the store and almost passed out right there in front of everyone.

    like, my heart almost stopped.

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  15. Oh man, McMurphy. Always and forever.

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  16. China Beach is most def on my best ever shows list! What an incredible cast. Did you know that DD once did an outdoor shower scene in the buff, just for kicks? Yeah, she's smart and sexy like Clooney. Best of luck on her new show.

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  17. I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was lost in Marg Helgenberger land again.

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  18. Carol3:05 PM

    My glee knows no bounds that DD finally had some full blown make believe lesbian action (aside from the teaser CB subtext - of which I'm def a fan, and the wonderful tease on Lword). Little gay angels got their wings on this one. :)

    DD is a joy to watch at work, a pleasure to look at, and seems like an all around good egg. What could become a lesbian icon most? I nominate DD.

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  19. Oh, Ms Snarker, you rock so hard!

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  20. I have had a crush on Dana Delany for 20 years, when I was a naive, confused 16-year-old who NEVER missed an ep of China Beach. She's awesome. And I feel like I mention the show Castle every time I comment, but she just did a really great two-episode arc on that show that's worth watching. Dana and Stana on screen together? Yes, please.

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