Sarah can do it

Another day, another chance to see what is happening with my Fake Internet Girlfriend Sarah Haskins. What? The judge said my hidden camera surveillance operation was “illegal” and “unconscionable” and whatever. So, this is the best I can do to keep updated on her life while remaining completely within the bounds of the restraining order. Sorry, what's that? Who is Sarah Haskins? You've never met my Fake Internet Girlfriend? Or maybe you feel like you've never been properly introduced? Well, here is a little primer for everyone on what all the fuss is about. p.s. 80s Sarah is totally a lez. What? I'm just saying.

There, now that we're all properly introduced, what else has Sarah been up to? Well, crying while watching Lifetime television on The Internet Machine, of course. Sheesh, who hasn't?

I'm totally going to start incorporating a little snap, crackle and pop into my daily haircare routine.

Of course, I was somewhat less pleased to find out that Sarah was dating. Though, after watching her night with some stiff named Ken, I'm fairly certain that I still have a shot. Hey, the wrong kind of genitalia is better than no genitalia at all, right?

Of course, if Sarah is going to imaginary step out on me, then I can imaginary step out on her with yet another of Current TV's offerings, the new series SuperNews. It's not cheating if you're honest about it up front. The animated show's take on Twitter is yet another reason I'm eternally thankful to Al Gore for inventing the internet Current TV.

It's funny because it's true. That said, feel free to follow my detached, bite-sized, yippity-yap @dorothysnarker. I just love randomly shouting into the darkness.