SGALGG-Off: Stephanie March

Wow, since yesterday's Tank Top Tuesday-Off was such an unprecedented success (Note: the votes are still rolling in, so I'll talk to Don King later about that rematch), I thought we'd try another grudge match. But instead of tank tops, it's a Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals-Off today. Or, more accurately, Straight Gals Battling Like Gay Gals for a Straight Gal. You know, SGBLGGFSG. Fuck, that acronym just killed the alphabet.

Right, so if you aren't to bloodied from yesterday's battle, here it goes. In honor of Stephanie March's upcoming return to “Law & Order: SVU” as ADA Alex Cabot, I give you a bare-knuckles, no-holds barred brawl for her affections between...drum roll...Mariska Hargitay and Tina Fey. That's right, both women launched a thousands 'ships with their gay subtext (or maintext in the case of “30 Rock”) involving Stephanie. And both women look awfully pretty standing next to her. So, who takes it, ladies and discerning gentlemen? Also, your vote counts double if you can correctly pronounce SGBLGGFSG six-time in a row without breaking your tongue. I mean, we wouldn't want you to damage your tongue. It would make the drooling so much more unsightly.

Olivia Benson & Alex Cabot

Liz Lemon & Gretchen Thomas

So, who should Stephanie end up with? And feel to phrase your answer in the form of a fantasy sequence.