Foster files

Hey, you know who we haven't talked about in a while? And by a “while,” I mean since last May. Well it's My Very First Weekend Crush, Ms. Jodie Foster. Before Tina Fey, before Rachel Maddow, there was Jodie. There will always be Jodie. Those alpine cheekbones. Those arctic blue eyes. That dykey voice. Heaven.

Jodie has kept her normally low profile since she finished promoting “Nim's Island” last year. The notoriously private star nonchalantly caused a seismic shift in her public persona when in Dec. 2007 she openly spoke the love that she had previously been decidedly mum about concerning longtime partner Cydney Bernard. But by next May all the gossip world was abuzz about her possible breakup with Cydney and hookup with screenwriter Cynthia Mort. I have no idea whether Jodie and Cynthia are still together. I have no idea whether Jodie and Cydney got back together. Nor do I particularly think that it's any of my business.

What I do know is that Jodie was at Sundance last month to support Uma Thurman and Minnie Driver's indie film “Motherhood.” Jodie has a small cameo in the comedy/drama about a mother (Uma) who prepares for her daughter's sixth birthday party. At Sundance, Spike Lee also revealed that plans for “Inside Man 2,” are still moving forward with Jodie and the rest of the original cast. Pending script approval, the sequel could being filming in late summer, early fall.

So, yeah, now you see why I haven't written about Jodie in a while. I ain't got much. But just because I don't have much on present Jodie doesn't mean I can't relive past Jodie. And with that, I give you: “Future Gay: A Video Essay”

The Early Years

Already she is the smartest little lesbian in the room.

The Tomboy Years

From the look on her face, grandma totally knows.

The Singing It Loud and Proud Years

A swing. A white tux. A French song. You're welcome.

The Advanced Gay Years

Trust me when I tell you that posting this clip 27-second of Jodie's only first* on screen same-sex kiss (from “The Hotel New Hampshire” with Nastassja Kinski, no less) will save you 108 minutes and 33 seconds of starring at your screen and going, “What the hell is happening here? Is that a bear suit? Fuck, am I drunk?”

p.s. Apropos of nothing other than that I know that white tuxedo fabulousness got your attention, only three more days to vote for yours truly in The Lezzys. See the mid-point vote tallys here. And thank you, thank you to all who have already and continue voting.

*EDIT: I forgot about that "Siesta" kiss. Hat tip, dairyqueen!