Thursday, November 13, 2008

Kiss and tell

Dear Out,

Uh, hi. Yeah, I just wanted to say, What The Fuck? Katy Perry? Katy fucking Perry? Katy Perry is your female pick for the most important gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person to put on your cover for 2008? Katy Perry? Katy fucking Perry? This is a joke, right? What you meant to do was pick an actual lesbian to pose amid the gay men, right? Right?

But instead you've given us the flirting, winking, flouncing straight woman who sang about kissing a girl and hoping her “boyfriend don't mind it.” The woman who called another woman her “experimental game” and said kissing her was “not what good girls do.” The woman whose irrationally catchy song became the anthem for every drunken “Girls Gone Wild” hook-up to an audience of frat boys. The woman who said she has never actually kissed a girl in real life. That woman. Really?

And it's not like there weren't some amazing actual lesbian women you could have picked this year. Rachel Maddow has been in the headlines quite a bit, and I hear that of all things Vogue has taken notice. Ellen DeGeneres got married and found her political voice. Heck, even Lindsay Lohan will at least cop to being “maybe” bisexual and is sleeping with a girl. But this, this is an insult. I could really care less about Katy Perry. If she somehow manages to jimmy out another hit or two, well, good for her. But what I do care about is that you think that Katy fucking Perry was the best GLBT female to put on your cover this year.

I means, seriously, it wasn't even her idea in the first place.

Sincerely,
Ms. Snarker

40 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:46 AM

    Hear hear!
    Eventhough that song has a catchy tune, I've always felt the lyrics were insulting and playing right into the hands of a lot of straight folks' believed clichés.

    However I do support the idea of laughing about things and not taking oneself too seriously, and that song might even help in terms of media attention and visibility (despite the fact that I don't find it too funny). But I'm surprised that a gay magazine, of all things, puts her on a pedestal.

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  2. Anonymous3:50 AM

    WTF!!! Katy Perry??

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  3. wow. I couldn't agree with you more!! I don't get it, what is that about? is that magazine run by gay men who haven't realized that lesbians actually exist? I was so expecting Rachel Maddow to be on the cover, her pictures are so beautiful! but katy perry? I hate that song just because every straight person will think: 'yeah, that's what lesbians are like' - I have had that discussion with so many straight guys:
    'oh, I don't think lesbians exist, I mean two girls kissing, that's always just to entertain the boys, right? I mean in the end, you'll go back to boys anyways, who are you kidding?'

    aaahhh!! no, I won't, damnit. and I wouldn't even kiss a boy no matter how drunk I am!

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  4. I agree that Rachel Maddow should be the Lesbian of the Year for 2008. But she rose to the top on her brains and that's not how we're supposed to do it. We're supposed to be hotties like on the L Word to feed men's fantasies of being Lucky Pierre in a menage a trois. That's why they almost picked T.a.T.U. last time. And this time when they had to choose a woman who fakes being a lesbian to cash in on the titillation factor, they were almost ready to go to press with Lindsey Lohan on the cover, but at the last minute LiLo said she wasn't sure she was really a full-on lesbian, so they had to go with Katy Perry, because at least when she kisses a girl, she likes it.

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  5. Anonymous4:32 AM

    Not to fucking mention that her first single off of her damn album is completely homophobic. It perpetuates and uses "gay" as a derogatory term. Fuck her. Her first (failed) record deal was to be a christian singer.

    Lyrics to "UR So Gay":

    I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
    While jacking off listening to Mozart
    You bitch and moan about LA
    Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
    You don’t eat meat
    And drive electrical cars
    You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
    You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like boys
    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like…

    You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
    You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
    Secretly you’re so amused
    That nobody understands you
    I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
    I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
    I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like boys
    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like…

    You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
    You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
    I wish you would just be real with me

    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like boys
    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    Oh no no no no no no no
    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like boys
    You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like
    No you don’t even like… PENIS

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  6. Anonymous5:03 AM

    Rachel Maddow should've been the one on the cover!!!!!!!!!!

    grrrr

    Dani

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  7. Anonymous5:04 AM

    There are so many versions in YouTube.

    -I f*cked a boy (and I liked it)
    -I kissed a girl (and she farted)
    -I kissed a horse/cat*)/squirrel **)
    -I kissed your dad

    *) kissing a cat can damage your face
    **) I suppose same goes with squirrels...

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  8. I couldn't agree more; I mean did they ever consider TaTu, I hear they have a lot of time on their hands.

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  9. Damn, back to being invisible. Are there any lesbians working at Out?

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  10. I agree with the shoulda been Rachel faction. Is there a PhotoShopper in the house?

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  11. Choosing Katie Perry is so asinine I can't even take it seriously... is like a practical joke gone bad... they should have gone all out and put sen. Larry Craig too on the list while they were at it...

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  12. Anonymous7:44 AM

    I can't believe this shit?!?

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  13. Anonymous7:45 AM

    Rachel Maddow is on the cover of The Advocate this month. Both magazines are owned by the same company. They're not allowed to use the same people for their covers in the same month. She is, however, one of Out's top honorees and will be attending the Gala on Friday night.

    That said, Perry was a piss-poor choice of covergirl. Her lyrics border on homophobic.

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  14. Dear OUT

    Hire some lesbians. Seriously.

    Faith

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  15. Anonymous8:13 AM

    Once again I agree with you, Miss Snarker.

    You know what? They should put you on the cover of Out Magazine. You have given the lesbian community so much with this blog of your.

    Thank you once again for the chuckle.

    XO
    a devoted fan

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  16. Anonymous8:20 AM

    What, 'Out Magazine' doesn't understand lesbians? How could that be, their staff is just FULL of gay men! I'm totally shocked here!

    Not.

    I can't believe this sh*te, how much more insulting can you get?

    And we're a community how again?

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  17. OMG. I am so blogging this. WTF OUT?!!!! This is such a slap in the face; especially because of her song UR So Gay.

    Wow.

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  18. Anonymous8:34 AM

    That's totally f***ed up.

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  19. And all I can add to that Ms. S. is "Fucking Amen!"

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  20. Snicker...nice SNARKY letter to Out! Sometimes you gotta think the gay boys are thinking with their little brains about when it comes to girls too...who'da thunk it?

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  21. Anonymous9:21 AM

    Didja ever notice (I'm trying to sound like Seinfeld now)....didja ever notice that when the gay boys and us form a group together, they always try to take over and turn us into some kind of ladies' auxiliary?

    Just noticing....

    http://tinyurl.com/spanko

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  22. that's really annoying. I mean, I loved the song, the first hundred times I heard it, but it doesn't really give the impression that kissing a girl is OK. I can see the letters to the editors now...

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  23. Katy fucking Perry? On Out cover representing the already thinly visible lesbian community? What the fuck is going on here? Are the editors nuts or are they high on toilet cleaner?

    Rachel Maddow should so have been on that cover. Hell, even Lindsay Lohan would've been a much better choice.

    I'm seriously pissed.

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  24. Anonymous10:34 AM

    I remember...about 15 years ago...my out and proud lesbian cousin taking me on a tour of Castro...and explaining to me the hierarchy of the food chain...with the gay girls at the bottom.

    And nothing has really changed since then.

    GLAAD sides with the suits over at ABC prime time.

    Out features Katy Perry on the cover as a freaking representative of what?

    Oy...with friends like them...who needs the Mormon Church, the Knights of Colombus, and Focus on Family?

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  25. November's sure shaping up to be a shitty month for us.

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  26. Anonymous11:28 AM

    Clearly this one was left to the gay boys. Who don't give a shit about lesbians, but only care about their pop divas.

    Or no--it's not that they don't CARE about lesbians. It's that they have no idea that lesbians EXIST. They think all women exist for their amusement, and couldn't possibly have issues of their *own* that warrant attention.

    I'm sorry, I know this is highly generalized and I love me some wonderful gay guys but seriously? In general? They're just as sexist as straight men, and it's more ANNOYING because they SHOULDN'T be.

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  27. I cannot effing stand that girl, or her asinine song. Ugh! How many lesbians at Out thought this was a god idea? Rachel Maddow? Ellen Degeneres? Portia? Heck, I'd even go for Samantha Rohnson this year for keeping crazy Lohan in check. *OR* Jennifer Beals, who does more to support/further out cause than that silly Katy girl.

    I can't wait to see Out's response. I'm sure it will be something like this:

    "Blah blah we are all inclusive...blah blah...we know at least 5 gays that like that song...blah blah...that song helps to reinforce the idea that women are not really gay, just experimenting....blah.

    Blerg.

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  28. Anonymous12:55 PM

    Dear Out:

    Next time you are looking for a real gay girl who can sing and represent...

    might I suggest picking up The L Word on DVD...

    then googling Leisha Hailey...

    to get a clue.

    Thanks for nothing.

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  29. Anonymous1:43 PM

    I hadn't looked at OUT in years, since I first came out and was reading whatever GLBT content I could get my newbie hands on... This summer I saw it on the news stand and flipped thru it, and honest to God thought - "Oh, did it switch to an all gay guy mag?", cause there was 90% guys and 10% lesbian content in the mag!!

    So does this surprise me? No. Appall me? Oh, yeah.

    Did they think to even ASK a lesbian's opinion? ??

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  30. longest 15 minutes ever.

    poor choice.

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  31. Before I say anything else, I want to point out an error in the post. Katy Perry has -- more than once -- admitted to having kissed another girl. From The Advocate (June 23 2008): "I have a lot of friends who are gay, and I have kissed a girl. I grew up in a very strict household where that was considered what you call “an abomination” -- and I fucking hate that word." In a couple interviews she answered, "No" but that was followed by "I'm saving myself for Miley Cyrus" so I think she was joking around. Not that her having kissed a girl actually makes her any less straight.

    I completely agree that "I Kissed a Girl" is exploitative of lesbian identity and has a LOT of things wrong with it, as does UR So Gay. But ironically I think Katy Perry honestly wants to be an ally and was honestly unaware of how the two songs would be perceived by lesbians and gays. Reading/viewing her blog (Kitty Purrys blog) changed some of my perceptions of her. I think that she failed to understand that there is a difference between being campy and fun and tongue-and-cheek(which is what her whole persona is) and crossing a line into offensive (with UR So Gay). So I don't think she necessarily deserves all the criticism that has been thrown at her.

    That said, I am infuriated with OUT magazine and the complete absurdity of using a straight woman to "represent" us. Even if they had chosen the most awesome, outspoken of allies, it still would be offensive in my opinion. What were they thinking? Obviously their priorities are focused on sales... It's not like there's a shortage of awesome lesbians. (Uh, hello, Rachel Maddow?)

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  32. Anonymous1:26 AM

    THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS..fucking Katy Perry? OMG..they must be joking! Rachel Maddow should have been the cover girl! what a shame

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  33. And you know what's more - I don't like the song. Not one snibbity-bibbit... I wouldn't support her being on the cover even if she were gay, out and single-handedly defeating prop 8. Ok, maybe then, but that's IT!

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  34. Pathetic! I'm sending OUT a letter about my thoughts, written with cherry chapstick.

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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. This is what's wrong with Out magazine. It's basically a gay man's magazine trying to pass itself off as a magazine for the LGBT community.

    I wonder how many gay guys will even notice how exclusive the cover is.

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  37. Anonymous10:57 PM

    I third - if they want to get a straight pretty female, why not get one of the L-word ladies? I mean, they're hot, and they do good for the cause. Hell, even Mia Kirshner would be better than Katy Perry.

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  38. Anonymous1:05 PM

    "I Kissed A Girl", the Katy Perry version, is for the guys (and women" who view Girls Gone Wild as representative of the lesbians. With all the emotional and mental maturity of 5 yr olds.

    The Sobule song still rocks...and she has a great sense of humor about it all. Casting Fabio? Fantastic!

    I don't read Out. If this is their standards, I have no plans to read Out.

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  39. Anonymous8:10 AM

    I cannot believe that put would do something so stupid... she's not even gay for christ sake. Added to which she's promoting every lesbians nightmare some straight chick with a fantasy who rips our hearts apart... Screw Katy Perry & Out for disrespecting lesbians like that.

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  40. Ditto ditto ditto ditto x

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