Saturday, January 12, 2008

Pre-L: Look Out, Here They Come

L502: Look Out, Here They Come
For tonight’s pre-cap, please dig out your old George Michael “Faith” album. Don’t front, you know you owned a copy on cassette tape back in the day. I’ll wait while you pull out that old shoe box in the back of your closet filled with mix tapes and other cassettes you’d rather not admit you once loved. Have you got it? Good. Now I want you to fast forward (tape, remember) to “I Want Your Sex.” Right, now press play and we can proceed. C-c-c-c-come on.

1) Imagination is a very……very……very……good……thing……weird……but……good.2) Clinical tests prove that 9 out of 10 bridesmaids prefer Shane.3) Bette, meet Tina’s date. Tina’s date, meet the reason you have zero chance.4) You can feel the love, no?5) Shane Conquest Counter: I6) This is your face. This is your face on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Any questions?7) On second thought, maybe book burning wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 8) Shane Conquest Counter: II9) Something tells me Joyce doesn’t handle rejection well.10) Mia Kirschner must be getting tired of opening her scripts and reading: “Jenny acts bitchy.”11) Helena makes…….a new……friend……not her……her.12) Penny for your thoughts, Shane?13) Pam Grier = One Bad-Ass Motherfucker.14) Alice and Tasha are heavy on the eyeliner, light on the trust.15) Vizzini thinks Jenny is a genius? Inconceivable!16) Hard time suddenly doesn’t look so bad.17) Shane Conquest Counter: III18) So this is what happens when you have once, twice, three times a lady.
New Guestbian Count: 2
[Malaya Rivera Drew as Jenny’s new assistant Adele; Lucia Rijker as Helena’s cellmate Dusty, actually she appeared last week, but we get her name this week]
A Good Idea Is a Good Idea: “More lesbian sex! I want more of it!” -- Sleazy movie executive guy, whose name I haven’t bothered to remember, to Tina and Jenny.

UPDATE: Sorry the pictures poofed on me for a bit. They’re back now and as naughty as ever.

15 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:00 AM

    Is it Christmas? There were more hook ups and boobs in that pre cap than all last season. Even Helena? I must have been a good girl last year!

    Thanks Dorothy

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  2. Anonymous5:11 AM

    Oh, wow, I can't wait for tomorrow!! Thank you so much!! That Helena/Bette thing, oooh, I've been wondering about it ever since I saw the season promo, and even if it's just a fantasy, it's still very very hot.

    Most people seem not fond of Bette's new hair, and sure, I liked the old one better, but there's a certain charm in the 'soccer mom' 'do. I'm coming to the realization that I might have a thing for soccer moms...

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  3. Anonymous5:14 AM

    I love your number (3). Hee Hee

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  4. We are watching the end of Helena. Dorothy, thank you for bringing Helena to all of us. Because IC seems to hate her. Too beautiful.

    www.rachelshelleyunplugged.com

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  5. Anonymous6:36 AM

    Bloody Hell!

    Helena gets accosted in the shower by the little Iolaus fella off Hercules!

    http://hercnikki.iwarp.com/iolaus1.jpg

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  6. It's a strange feeling when suddenly you can't wait for the week-end to be over and you're not even stuck with boring relatives. Thank you, L Word.

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  7. Damn that's a lot of sex for one little episode...

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  8. Anonymous1:35 PM

    Dorothy Snarker, a girl after my own heart!

    I spent about 15 minutes on the picture of Helena in the shower - I think The Shelley deserves a round of snaps for allowing herself to be lit so harshly and for showing us her little Shelleys. :D

    Ooh! Finally some prison sex!

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  9. Anonymous6:34 PM

    I have to admit that pic 2 & 3 was really disconcerting. Shane and Bette are never meant to be sexy with each other. Its not right!

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  10. Anonymous12:40 AM

    the actress that plays helenas cell mate actually starred already in the season 2 finale, as danas coach ;)

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  11. Anonymous4:01 PM

    Anonymous: Helena gets accosted in the shower by the little Iolaus fella off Hercules!

    LMAO The likeness is uncanny.

    And I agree with jetgirl, major props are due to Rachel for baring her breasts under such unflattering lighting.

    As if having to wear fluorescent orange jumpsuits and hideous blue eyeshadow (what was the make-up dept. thinking in 501?!) weren't cruel and unusual punishment, she's being bathed in harsh fluorescent light too.

    Clearly Jamie Babbit didn't go to the Von Sternberg school of film-making.

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  12. http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/01/the-l-word-1.html#more
    read entertainment weekly's review of the episode

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  13. Anonymous6:13 PM

    I dunno. I think Rachel is still beautiful in ANY lighting. I felt a lil disturbed by all the back fat and coochie fat in that shower scene. UGH! But I LOVED Helena and Dusty's scene...HOT!

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  14. Anonymous11:37 PM

    Oh gosh, I got a real thrill out of the "Prisoner" shower scene; real bodies, and the camera didn't faff around with the naked ones all shot fakely above-the-navel. Kudos to the director there for a carefully shot relief from the incessant glamour of the show - - even though I know that's half the escapist fun of it all.
    And did we cheer knife bitch Lenore Zann's retreating hip-and-skip swagger!

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  15. Anonymous5:37 PM

    Inconceivable!

    LOL. holy crap. I'm seriously dying here.

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