My Weekend Crush

Lucy Liu is ridiculously gorgeous. Her cheekbones alone inspire fantasies of alpine adventures. And her freckles, well, don’t get me started on her freckles. Volumes could be written on the adorable constellations that dot her otherwise pristine face. If only her opportunities would match her beauty. But, it seems like Hollywood of late isn’t quite sure what to do with the American-born actress of Chinese immigrant parents. Instead she has appeared in big-screen dreck like “Code Name: The Cleaner.” Though, happily, on the small screen she has a guest spot on my favorite hour of the week, “Ugly Betty.”

Her next movie role is the lesbian vampire flick “Rise: Blood Hunter.” Now, I have no problem - clearly - with lesbian movies or vampire movies or even lesbian vampire movies. Sadly, it’s hard to find the latter that isn’t an exploitative exercise in selling tickets to horny frat boys -- aside, of course, for the mother of all lesbian vampire movies, “The Hunger.” Clips of Lucy serving as bloody neck candy for a Carla Gugino popped up on the web this week (sidebar: Carla deserves some sort of Best Supporting Lesbian trophy for her frequent Sapphic appearances in at least three previous films: “Jaded,” “The Center of the World” and “Sin City”). Also, I didn’t realize Lucy had made her own ambiguously gay comments to the press. As she told Jane magazine:

“I think people sometimes get the wrong impression when they’re like, 'Oh, well, so-and-so was straight and then she was gay, and now she’s straight again,’ you know? But it's like, how many times do I have to kiss a woman before I’m gay? Everybody wants to label people. Sometimes you just fall in love with somebody, and you’re really not thinking about what gender or whatever they happen to be. It think that if I happen to fall in love with a woman, everyone’s going to make a big deal out of it. But if I happen to fall in love with a man, nobody cares.”

Well, Lucy, I’m not sure either how many times you have to kiss a woman before you’re gay. But, they say practice makes perfect. Happy weekend, all.