This time of year, folks falls all over themselves with capitalist helpfulness to recommend things to buy for your assorted loved and not-so-loved ones. Well, not me. I am definitely not here to help. Instead, I give you the anti-gift guide. These are things that you should, under no circumstances, give to another living human being. Particularly another gay human being. - In Film: “Bar Girls” - Worst. Lesbian. Movie. Ever.
- In Music: The Pussycat Dolls - You can’t watch them dance on the CD. So, really, what’s the point?
- In Books: “The Well of Loneliness” - Self-loathing and suicide doesn't mix well with eggnog.
- In Gaming: Nintendo Wii - If you give it to someone you love or hope to one day love and they play like this, you’ll never want to sleep with them again.
These have been on my no-gift list for almost 20 years running:
ReplyDeleteIn clothing: Leg warmers, culottes, gauchos, stirrup pants, jellies, and possibly dickies (unless worn ironically and even then, not so much).
Basically, if (god forbid) I or someone I knew wore an item of clothing in the 80s, there is absolutely no reason for it to appear in this millennium, let alone actually gifting it to someone you claim to care about. Some may disagree, but I contend they did not have to live through parachute pants. I also find myself recommending against spiral perms for this very reason (but I digress).
I say you can't go wrong gifting gays with a high quality sex toy - so when in doubt, give the gift of Hitachi!
Now now, The Well of Lonliness is an important lesbian ur-text as it were, let's not rule it out so quickly...
ReplyDeleteHowever, for a much more thrilling representation of victorian/edwardian lesbiana I highly recommend The Diary of Anne Lister.