Tank Top Tuesday: What’s New, Katy-Cat?

This is not a drill. This is Katy O’Brian in a tank top holding a kitten. Some days, I’m just thankful for the little things. Particularly on a Tuesday.

Music Monday: I'm Your Dog Edition

Happy Pride Month! Let’s get (even more) gay as fuck up in here. This video is giving me crazy “Secretary” (all the crawling) meets “All Over Me” (being someone’s dog) meets “Love Lies Bleeding” (hello, Katy O’Brian) meets you probably shouldn’t watch this at work vibes. Anyway, for as terrible as the world is and this administration is in particular, it’s still quite something to be alive in a time when queer kids have so many different queer artists to swoon over. I honestly don’t know if Renee Rapp and Towa Bird are still a thing, but regardless, excellent job casting Katy here. Just good luck to everyone trying to stay focused at work today. Though, honestly, it’s homophobic to make us work at all this month. Especially after watching this. Happy first Monday of Pride, kittens.

Tank Top Mea Culpa

Whoops, this Tuesday got away from me. Here is Katy O’Brian in yet another tank top. All forgiven?

Tank Top Tuesday

You deserve some tank tops for making it to 2026. Heck, we all deserve a little treat for making it through the first year of The Orange Stain’s Administration 2.0. Let’s hope women are still allowed to show bare arms in tank tops a year from now. But the way things are going, well, better enjoy them while we can.

Katy O’Brian

The world needs more lesbian muscle mommies. And by world, I mean me.

Rhea Seehorn

I, admittedly, have not watched the lesbian alien dystopia show yet because I don’t have AppleTV+. But this tank top is making me want to figure out a way to watch anyway. A lot.

Melissa King

Cut-off denim vests fall under the Big Gay Tank Top Umbrella, duh.

Sarah Mclachlan & Katie Gavin

Two tank tops for the price of one and a pretty good Lilith Fair reboot start to boot.

Demi Moore

Look, if cut-off denim vests count, tuxedo dickies definitely count.

Lorde

The rare white tank and tightie whities combo I actually approve of.

Lena Headey

May we carry Lena’s flipping off the haters while rocking a tank top energy with us through 2026.

Spooky Lesbian Season

If there’s a moment when we could all use a queer zombie comedy, it is this moment. Spooky season needs saving when the real world is so – horrible and stupid all at the same time. So, you know, spooky. Even though I’m not a horror person, I do enjoy a well-made genre flick. And I’m curious what Tina Romero can do with such a clearly queer storyline and aesthetic. Yes, I know she is the daughter of horror icon George A. Romero, who practically had a genre named after him. But did he ever cast Katy O’Brian and Margaret Cho? Lesbians and drag queens would definitely make a formidable zombie-fighting force. I’d watch that.

Gender Fuck Thursday: The Other Katy

Well if we can’t celebrate the wonderful blurring of the binary during Pride, when can we celebrate it? Oh, right, this administration would rather we never. But I bet those red-hatted goons would fold like a TACO if confronted by our resident queer-action-hero-in-the-making, Katy O’Brian. Since we all developed huge crushes on her thanks to her crushingly huge biceps in last year’s “Love Lies Bleeding,” Katy has been busily adding to her film and TV resume with some big-name franchises (like “Twisters,” “Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning,” and the upcoming “The Running Man” big). And she has continued to blur the binary by celebrating her strength along with her femininity. Or, to put it more simply, you’re welcome all you muscle mommy lovers.

p.s. Reminder, she’s been married to her wife for five years. So all of this is respectfully, of course. Very respectful. Ahem.

And I Feel Fine

Given our current geopolitical shitstorm (we, non-MAGA America, are really sorry about all this – sincerely), I’m kind of relieved we get to relax and enjoy the end of the world for a change. “The Last of Us” returns after two years away to a very different world, both on screen and in real life. Because I read spoilers about the videogame years ago, I know we are in for an intense and intensely sad season. But because I read those spoilers years ago, I don’t remember any of the specifics. Well, other than I remember Abby’s arms.

I know there has been some rumblings about Kaitlyn Dever not looking the part of Abby. But I know that woman can flat-out act, so I’m not that worried about the size of her biceps. We can’t all be Katy O’Brian.

I’m more pleased they chose Ellie and Dina’s relationship for slavish recreation. I hope Bella Ramsey and Isabela Merced share as much chemistry as they do likeness – and taste in clothes – to their video game counterparts.

Also sneaking a kiss into the trailer? Yeah, they’re trying to make it up to us queer ladies for killing Melanie Lynskey in the first season. (It’s been more than two years, that’s not a spoiler…)

So, who’s ready for a nice, calming apocalypse?

GGALGG: Oscars Edition

So the thing about this year’s Oscars is they were very, very, veryveryveryvery straight this year. I mean, sure, Ariana Grande opened with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from “The Wizard of Oz” and then Cynthia Erivo followed with “Home” from “The Whiz” and they both finished with “Defying Gravity.” Ari even had a freaking ruby slipper attached to her back. Which, I mean, sure – that’s a pretty fucking gay way to start things off. But instead of staying gay, the rest of the show was pure “Kansas Rainbow” (this is a deep “Somebody Somewhere” cut – which if you recognize it let’s be real gay together).

But after that? None of the higher-profile queer nominees won (not Cynthia, not Brandi Carlile and Elton John, not Colman Domingo and definitely not Karla Sofía Gascón). The highlights for LGBTQ+ folks was out costume designer Paul Tazewell taking home the trophy for “Wicked” – making him the first Black man to win – and Queen Latifah singing “Ease On Down The Road” (was “The Whiz” the telecast’s true winner?) with Glad trash bags tied to her shoulders.

And can we talk for a moment about how neither of the two “Emilia Perez” winners mentioning the trans community even once in their acceptance speeches? Hello??? If you’re wondering why this movie wasn’t embraced by the LGBTQ+ community, uh, that’s why. When you use us as a plot device without any real intention of representing the greater community, it shows. That and it was a bad movie, period.

Honestly, there wasn’t much SGALGG to speak of from the red carpet either. Like hardly any fun shots of straight actresses trying to Sabrina Carpenter themselves with other straight actresses, so clearly queer sensibilities had a bad night. Also, can we talk about how 25-year-old Mikey Madison pulling a surprise upset for Best Actress over 62-year-old Demi Moore is the perfect postscript to “The Substance,” because yeah.

Even if the awards were very cis and very straight, I’m here to bring the GGALGG because that’s my whole and entire mission statement. Granted, most of the Queer Lady Rainbow Mafia only showed up for the after parties – which is just another sign of our good taste. Ahem.

Cynthia Erivo & Lena Waithe

Had to find a sneaky picture of Cynthia & Lena at the Oscars because they did not pose on the red carpet together and posted individual shots of themselves at the Oscars on their respective Instas. Which, hey, I get keeping your personal lives private. But it’s the Oscars, ladies. Not even one official shot together at the Gay Superbowl?

Marissa Bode & Lauren Brooks

The “Wicked” star brought her girlfriend with her throughout the movie’s award show run and happily posed together on the red carpet so I’m not saying she wins Girlfriend of the Year but she’s definitely not losing Girlfriend of the Year for lack of effort.

Brandi Carlile & Catherine Shepherd Carlile

I love them, I don’t love their abundance of bows. Like was Brandi’s suit inspired by Minnie Mouse, what is happening? Are bows the new carabiners? Explain, universe. Explain.

Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols

Did a Catholic middle school dance chaperone get to them and say they needed to leave space for the Holy Ghost or what?

Niecy Nash-Betts & Jackie Betts

Thank Sappho for Niecy and Jackie, a queer couple that always looks great together and will give us the Gay Superbowl photos we deserve.

Oprah & Whoopi Goldberg

Fine, while neither is truly family, I think we can all just agree they look like the most stylish couple at Senior Prom Night at their high-end 55+ community.

Laverne Cox & Hari Nef

More trans representation in one photo than the entire production of “Emilia Perez.” Enough said.

Sarah Paulson & Hannah Einbinder

It’s like spare body parts from The Substance and a fashion-forward Dalek from Doctor Who showed up as each other’s dates.

Chappell Roan & Elton John

We have reached Maximum Gay. Any more Gay and we may risk Nuclear Rainbow Overload.

Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter

The only straight couple I will include because after seeing Melanie in this Jessica Rabbit getup, every lesbian has reaffirmed her spot on their “Celebrity I So Would” lists. And Jason is just adorable, even though he will fight every single last one of us for lusting after his wife.

Renee Rapp

Speaking of Jessica Rabbit, I’m glad to see Renee embracing her inner – or should I say outer – Jessica as well.

Clea DuVall

Again, this is exactly how I would show up at award shows were I ever to be invited to award shows – or in this case, award show after parties.

Katy M. O’Brian

I love that these are actually pants. Oh you didn’t notice the pants because of the muscles? Yeah, you’re gay.

Rocky Lady Picture Show

I really have to scrape the 90s memory banks to remember Christy Martin. I vaguely recall her being a trailblazing boxing star, and her pioneering Sports Illustrated cover definitely rings some bells. But, sadly, most of my remaining boxing knowledge from that era revolves around Mike Tyson biting off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s ear. So I think I somehow missed Martin’s harrowing life story and eventual coming out.

This is all to say that I’m rather excited about the new Christy Martin biopic starring Sydney Sweeney. Now, I mostly know Sydney as one of the terrifyingly cool teens on the first season of “White Lotus.” I never saw her hit rom-com “Anyone But You” (mostly because she and Glen Powell just look so much like people who would have bullied me in high school – even if they’re actually lovely….) and I don’t need the anxiety of watching young people make bad decisions that is “Euphoria.” But I know she has been proactively building her career, producing her own projects etc.

So Sydney has turned herself into a bit of a Muscle Mommy to transform for the role which I am definitely not mad about. She told Deadline Christy’s story is “powerful and emotional” and that she “not only legitimized female boxing, she overcame gender stereotypes, and fought through emotional, physical, and financial abuse.” And, don’t worry, it’s gonna be gay. Director David Michôd said the story will be about Christy “as a young gay woman in small-town West Virginia in the 1990s. She came from a relatively conservative family and wasn’t allowed to be who she was so she used boxing as a vehicle to express herself and her rage. She had to make some dangerous and fundamental compromises in her life, the most important of which was marrying an incredibly dangerous man.”

And the cherry on top of this Big Gay Biopic? Katy O’Brian, everyone’s reigning Muscle Mommy Crush thanks to “Love Lies Bleeding,” will play her boxing rival and eventual wife Lisa Holewyne. And Merritt Wever from “Nurse Jackie” (and another notably Bury Your Gays victim in “The Walking Dead”) is also in this thing which makes me happy because I lowkey adore her, period.

So, thoughts? Who has a better memory and recalls Christy’s glory days clearly? I’m just happy for my little gray cells that they’re making a movie – and the muscles don’t hurt either.

Live, Laugh, Love Lies Bleeding

With the Olympics over, you might be thinking, dang I wish I had more strong women to watch. Well, do I have the movie/super gay head trip for you. I missed out on seeing “Love Lies Bleeding” in the theaters because of some bad timing. But as soon as it began streaming on Max last month, I made sure to watch. And, well, that sure was something.

What I liked about “Love Lies Bleeding” was its approach to its queer characters and queer desire. No need for any “coming out” framing. No earnest struggles with homophobia or self-doubt. Just two women attracted to each other who become the epitome of “Be gay, Do crimes.”

In order to enjoy this film you just need to be prepared for violence and muscles. You also need to brace yourself for a little magical realism. This is less the “Water for Chocolate” whimsical magical realism and more of the queer fantasy magical realism. Either way, it’s trippy and unexpected and weird as hell – but mostly in a good and definitely in a gay way.

And while K-Stew is the marquee name here, Katy O’Brian is the breakout star here. I mean, those muscles alone. *heart eyes emoji forever* I’m surprised between “Love Lies Bleeding” and “Twisters,” that Katy isn’t hanging on a poster in every young lesbian’s wall right now.

While this movie probably won’t go into your feel-good canon of lesbian rom-coms à la “Imagine Me & You” and “But I’m a Cheerleader” or even grand sweeping romances like “Carol” or “Portrait of a Lady on Fire,” it deserves its own place in queer pulp history. Back-to-back screening with “Bound?” Now that’s a noir lesbian movie night I can get behind.

So, thoughts? I don’t want to give away the ending too much, because I think you just need to experience it. Buckle up and wear a helmet.

Pride Vacation Vixens: Katy O’Brian

Gulp. Now I feel even worse about not having seen “Love Lies Bleeding” yet. I know, I know! It left theaters near me before I could catch it, but now I guess I’ll wait until Max decides to stream it (Pride Month seems like the perfect time, hint hint, Max). Anyway, Katy O’Brian is stunning to look at and of course talented to boot. What, she posted this herself. (Like who wouldn’t if they looked like that?!) Anyway, it is a Tuesday, afterall. Like I was saying, gulp.

Strong Women in Film, Literally

I guess this is the week where I sound off on movies coming soon. And I’ve gone from hatred, to begrudging respect to hot damn imma see this the first weekend I can. Continuing the new sapphic cinema trend of Be Gay, Do Crimes (hello, Drive-Away Dolls), is “Love Lies Bleeding.” Kristen Stewart talked about the movie and her motivation behind it at length in her Rolling Stone cover story. But each passing trailer gets me more excited to see what kind of murderous muscled mayhem KStew and Katy O'Brian can get up together.

Now, it’s not just the murderous muscled mayhem I’m here for. Make no mistake, I’m here for the gay murderous muscled mayhem I’m totally here for. Films about queer female relationships rarely let us see the destructive, clothes-ripping kind of lust that seems to be at the center of “Love Lies Bleeding.” And even if this is part of some hallucinatory fever-dream, can we just marvel at the unicorn-level queerness of this?

And then the Hulk-smash hotness of this?

Hello. Look, I’m in this for the story as much as anything. But, like I said, I am also sometimes deeply, deeply shallow. And this movie, well it just might satisfy both my brain and, well, other parts.

Be Gay, Do Crimes The Movie

Look, I didn’t have “Watch Kristen Stewart and Her Muscle Mommy Do Gay Crimes” on my 2024 to do list before this either. But now, well, it’s basically my top resolution. Like, how can you not want to watch KStew and her mullet and Katy O’Brian and her muscles make out and fuck shit up together in their tank tops. Also, Ed Harris looks insane and Jena Malone is apparently in this thing too which is awesome because Jenna Malone is awesome. Seriously, do more gay films, Jenna. And, carry on with the so gay, Kristen.