Vacation Vixen: Jennifer Beals & Jodie Foster

Thought I’d throw it back Thursday style with a little early aughts action. In my mind, Bette clearly dated Jodie briefly before she met Tina. But Jodie wasn’t out yet and, well, Bette was Bette.

Vacation Vixen: Gwendoline Christie

If they weren’t going to pick Lucy Lawless, then they should have picked Gwendoline for Wonder Woman. Come on, who is a better Amazon than this lady right here?

Vacation Vixens: Danai Gurira & Lupita Nyong'o

“The Walking Dead” should give Michonne more to do. And “Star Wars” should show Lupita’s face. Other than that, these two are absolutely perfect.

Vacation Vixen: Cate Blanchett

Just a little something to make getting out of bed on a Monday morning that much more difficult.

Vacation Vixen: Anna Silk

So, as you can see, I’m going on vacation for a bit. Or, more accurately, I’m going on a “vacation” – meaning I’m going back home to help my 70-something mom move out of the home she has lived in for 40-something years. I know, so relaxing. But, while I’m gone, I shall of course be posting fresh, hot, lovely Vacation Vixens in my stead.

I thought I’d kick things off with the always lovely Anna Silk. This week I posted my very last “Lost Girl” Rewind Mini-Cap, to coincide with the airing on the finale on Syfy. While most of us said goodbye to this show last October, there was an unmistakable finality to writing my mini-cap. It’s over, it’s really over. Fae-thee-well, you bonkers show. Thank you for the happily ever after.

Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go Right Now

If you need to ask why our fictional happy endings matter, consider the fact that in real life our very existence still continues to be denied on the most basic human level. Yesterday, the North Carolina legislature passed and governor signed one of the most aggressive anti-LGBT legislations in the country. The bill, was rushed (and I mean rushed – a special session was convened and the bill pushed through in 10 hours with the governor signing Wednesday night) through by state Republicans in a knee-jerk, kick-in-the-head reaction to an anti-discrimination ordinance passed in Charlotte, the state’s largest city, giving LGBT people equal protection based on sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity.

Well, of course, that wouldn’t do. No, allowing us to peacefully pursue our life, liberty and happiness like every other citizen simply wouldn’t do for the GOP-led statehouse. So they wrote up a new law that prohibits local ordinances from superseding the state law, which does not protect people based on sexual orientation or gender identity. In essence, they repealed every single LGBT anti-discrimination law in the state, all at once. Oh, and the new law also prohibits local ordinances from raising the minimum wage above the state level – just to punch poor working-class folks in the teeth for good measure, too.

So how did they pull off this hateful coup? Well, they pulled out the newest weapon in the Right Wing’s arsenal against LGBT people. It’s the newest faux battlefront in the so-called culture wars. Bathrooms.

To quote the state’s Republican Governor:



Yes, America is deathly afraid of trans people who have to go pee.

This is not the first time, nor clearly will be the last time, that this ridiculous, clearly false narrative about protecting the sanctity of our restrooms has been used. Last November saw a very high-profile political fight in Houston about a proposed LGBT rights ordinance ultimately failed when the opposition framed the fight as such: “No men in women’s bathrooms.”

Yes, it was that simple. This is the next great lie, the next big fear-mongering campaign LGBT folks must face. Since loving queer couples getting married hasn’t destroyed the very foundation of marriage and/or the fabric of our country, this is what the people who hate us have come up with next.

Trans people just trying to conduct one of the most essential of human biological functions are the latest boogeyman. Never mind that we all have to go sometimes. Never mind that transgender people are the ones actually facing increased violence and murder. A National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs report from 2014 found violent hate crimes against transgender people has risen by 13 percent. This is true for trans women of color, in particular. A staggering 80 percent of trans people report experiencing harassment as youths. So you see, trans people are actually the ones more likely to be assaulted in a bathroom, locker room, wherever.

Since, thankfully, we have made some progress, this latest lie has been wrapped in another lie. Instead of most people just saying, outright, that they’re afraid of trans people, they’re pretending they’re afraid of random pervy men pretending they’re trans to gain access to women’s restrooms. The lie within a lie. (Not that pervy men don’t exist, they clearly do, but they’re already finding their own way into women’s restrooms, homes, lives by themselves just fine.)

The other, concurrent big lie the family values set has come up with, as you well know, is this whole “Religious Liberty” canard. How dare you have to bake a cake for a gay person? How dare you take away my ability to oppress you and treat you unequally based on religion? But, oh yeah, we should definitely have police patrol Muslim neighborhoods because that isn’t the kind of religious liberty we’re talking about.

So now our task is clear. We must all rise up against this vicious, insidious “bathroom safety” lie. We must all rise up against the hypocritical, incendiary “religious liberty” lie. These lies are just more in a long line of lies used to justify bigotry.

It’s also another reason we have to continue to press our politicians on the local, state and federal level to pass comprehensive LGBT rights legislation protecting sexual orientation and gender identity. Marriage equality was not the end of our battle, it was just the first big battle we have won. We cannot become complacent now. The other side has drawn its regressive line in the sand at the bathroom door. It is up to us to keep working, keep fighting, keep VOTING. Elections matter and one party obviously continues to cling to the wrong side of history. So if you are among the people saying, “If my candidate doesn’t win, I’m not voting,” please consider the consequences.

And, while some people might say, how can you care about a stupid TV show when our rights are being trampled in the real world, the answer is just as simple. How we are portrayed is integral to how we are perceived. When all people see on screen is our tragedy, is it any wonder they fail to value our happiness in real life? And, just as important, for all the LGBT people living out there facing these grim realities, the stories they see represent a glimmer of hope amid so much hopelessness. But take courage my gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning friends out there in North Carolina. You’re not alone. That law, above all else, has got to go. And we will make sure it does.

p.s. Adding a couple thoughts via Twitter.

1 What I didn’t touch on in my post on North Carolina is the new/old way they are framing their lies abt LGBT ppl… https://t.co/SCvYYdS9cG

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

2…their argument is steeped in the same ages-old racist canard of bigotry perpetrated in the guise of protecting “women and children”…

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

3…in this case “scary trans people” and “attacking in bathrooms” has become the new “black brute” and “raping white women” false boogeyman…

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

4…see it for what it is: hate & scare-tactics hell-bent on keeping an underrepresented group of ppl from achieving equality/simply existing…

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

5…so it is incumbent on us to swat back these lies, expose them for what they are – virulent oppression akin to antique antebellum thinking…

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

6…because in truth trans ppl face more & more violence and are the ones who really must fear for their safety when simply trying to go pee.

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) March 24, 2016

Surrey With a Side-Mullet on Top

Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a laugh. And a good lesbian laugh at that better. So please enjoy everyone’s favorite side-mulleted comedian, Cameron Esposito, performing on the Late, Late Show earlier this month. I don’t even have or want kids, but I plan to blame everything on the unnamed Dorito Fingers from now on.

Bury Your Tropes

Yesterday, I had the privilege of writing about the Bury Your Gays TV trope as a guest columnist for The Hollywood Reporter. It’s a credit to all the fans and supporters behind the LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign that this happened in the first place. And it’s a further testament to the issue’s importance that, for several hours yesterday, the story was actually leading the entire Hollywood Reporter homepage. There it was, sitting atop one of media’s biggest trade and entertainment publications. This is a site read not only by everyday fans, but also show creators, producers, writers and industry insiders. It was amazing; it felt amazing.

And that was not just for vain reasons like it’s cool to have byline in The Hollywood Reporter. It’s amazing because what you have all been saying so loudly and so passionately possibly, maybe, for real has a shot of getting through to the people who make the stories we watch. This isn’t about one show, this is about LGBT representation as a whole. This is about not wanting to see an overwhelming number of our stories turn out tragic. This is about understanding that courting queer fans means giving us real narratives, not just lip service.

Yesterday’s article was also a reminder of there are still so many people who simply a) do not get it or, b) do not care but want to yell at you instead because you are daring to say their favorite TV show isn’t entirely flawless. I haven’t even done more than a cursory glance in the THR comments section, but I commend those of you fighting the good tight in the trenches. For my part, I decided to try to educate a few straight dudes who wandered into my Twitter feed. Here is how it went:



When the stories you’ve always been given reflect your life effortlessly, it’s easy to feel satisfied by what you see on screen. And it’s just as easy to dismiss those asking for more as complainers. Things seem fine to you, why aren’t they equally fine for everyone? But if you think, for even a minute, about the mental hoops all the others in this world (the LGBT people, the people of color, the people with disabilities, the people who simply don’t fit into our predominant straight, white, male culture) have to jump though just to imagine their own happy endings you would realize how exhausting the exercise becomes. Maybe it will sink in to some folks. But in the meantime you’d better believe LGBT fans won’t just be idly waiting and hoping for it to happen.

The Walking Deadbians

[SPOILER ALERT: Major Walking Dead Spoilers Below]

There TV goes again. Another day, another dead lesbian character. Never mind a bigger boat, we’re going to need a bigger graveyard to keep up with all these gays we are burying. In last night’s episode of “The Walking Dead” Denise, the town’s de facto doctor, was killed by an arrow through the eye. The shooter admitted afterward that he was actually aiming for someone else – so it was basically an accident. So it wasn’t exactly a heroic or noble death. It was more of an oopsy-daisy. Cool, cool. That’s not insulting at all.

A little background on Denise – we first met her at the beginning of this the sixth season. She was one of the town’s original inhabitants. She started out as unsure of herself. But over the course of the season she found more confidence and a girlfriend. Denise struck up a friendship with established lesbian character Tara, who has been on the show since season 4, which then turned into flirting which was cemented with a kiss and for the past few episodes they’ve been shown living together. Yes, even in the zombie apocalypse lesbians totally U-Haul.

So that made them one of the show’s very few happy couples. (There is one – at least for now – alive and happy gay male couple in the town.) This, however, is the show’s second dead lesbian. Tara, poor thing, lost her girlfriend Alisha back two seasons ago when she was shot in the head during a battle. Her new girlfriend Denise was killed while Tara was on a two-week supply run, so she wasn’t even in this episode. And, it came two episodes after Tara told Denise she loved her, and Denise said she would tell her when she came back. Seriously, writers, seriously? They don’t even get to say proper “I love yous?”

Even more galling is that another established character, Abraham, is the one who dies in the comics from an arrow through the eye – not Denise. While thee situations aren’t exactly the same, they’re similar enough for this to clearly be a swap from the comic books to the TV show. So it’s save the straight guy, kill the gay woman. In fact, one could extrapolate that Denise’s death was ultimately Abraham’s fault because he left behind another character who later got caught by the opposing group which then led to the ambush. Neat-o. I love everything.

At this point, I just want to place all the lesbian and bisexual female characters in a protective bubble and send them to a deserted island away from all stray bullets, arrows and anything else pointy and/or heavy. Denise is actually the second queer female character to be killed off since Lexa’s death on “The 100” at the beginning of the month. (The other was a queer woman of color named Kira on “The Magicians.”) Beware the Ides of March is real and coming for lesbians.

Look, of course, characters die. It’s one of the oldest plot twists in the book. And this is a show about zombies, so death is kind of a leading character. Writers are allowed to write what they want, but as fans we are also allowed to demand better and more truthful representations. As LGBT fans we have a right to see ourselves, and our own happy endings, reflected back to us. But the fact that our stories, particularly as queer women, have been overwhelming tragic on television is not acceptable. Nor is it acceptable to court LGBT fans only to feed us the same tired stories we’ve been force fed so many times before.

So here’s the thing. The loud and righteous fan outrage over Lexa’s death has been heard and even gotten mainstream coverage. Which is amazing. But if is going to make a real and lasting difference, it has to continue. It has to not be just about one character, but about treatment of all LGBT characters. It has to be a rallying cry and warning to showrunners and creators. We are not cannon fodder. We are not expendable. And we are watching. LGBT fans most definitely deserve better.

p.s. I’d also like to say that I will very much miss the wonderful Merritt Wever, who was wonderful as Denise. Here is her first kiss with Tara. (If you don’t want to sit through the build-up and some gross puss removal – she’s a doctor, remember – it starts at 4:03).



p.p.s. I could go on another long rant about how “The Walking Dead” needs to stop telegraphing its deaths by giving supporting players actual screen time and character development. But, mostly, I just can’t fucking believe we have another dead lesbian TV character.

My Weekend Crush

You guys, since this is my week of confessions I have another one to make. I didn’t start watching “Broad City” until this season. And now I’m kicking myself because I could had two whole other seasons of Abbi and Ilana in my life. What is the opposite of “Yas?” Because that’s what I’m feeling for catching on so late. But, good news, I’m loving this season and will do my due diligence and catch up. But for now I’m just going to luxuriate in the wonder that was Hillary Clinton’s cameo on this week’s episode. Am I totally in the tank for Hillary? Hell yeah, I am. And so our these broads. Happy weekend, all.

Our Fight Is Not Over

I’m about to say something that seemed practically sacrilegious as of two weeks ago: I never really loved “The 100” all that much. Based on everyone’s enthusiastic recommendations, I sat down and dutifully binge-watched the first two seasons last year. Certainly I enjoyed parts of it, including its powerful female characterizations, and was interested to see the Clexa storyline develop. But, to be honest, I was just there for what turned out to be the super-duper, oh-so slow burn that was Clexa in the first place. I commend both Alycia Debnam-Carey and Eliza Taylor on their nuanced portrayals. But because of the way they ended things between those two at the end of the season two – with Lexa and her Grounder’s abandonment of their however tenuous alliance with Clarke and her Sky People over Mount Weather – I felt a little cheated. Yes, we got that one glorious, oh-so thirsty kiss. But then larger politics of loyalty and power took over and that was that.

So when folks started watching again in Season 3, I was encouraged by what I heard – but not enough to catch up right away. And now, I’ll confess, I’m so glad I didn’t bother. I tend to not get too involved in the spoilery, behind-the-scenes gossip associated with shows. Before all of this happened I really wasn’t aware of how show creator Jason Rothenberg has been interacting with fans. But now that I’ve read up on it I take particular umbrage to is how he appears to have actively courted LGBT fans only to saddle them once again with a disappointing, repetitive and frankly tired-ass trope. So here we have a moment of true happiness followed by sudden and random death. Lexa is yet another dead LGBT character. Oh, geez, your shirt – AGAIN.

One might have been able to argue that in the Tara Maclay days some 14 years ago that the writers innocently were unaware of the Bury Your Gays trope (and, again, I’m not saying they were, but they could). But it’s clear that is not the case now. The series creator actively engaged and encouraged its LGBT fans and seemed to make promises that he obviously had no intentions of keeping. You can’t hold yourself up as a model example of representation and then offer us the very same sorry representations we’ve too often been force fed That’s not how this works. That’s now how any of this works.

What is most clear from this debacle is that LGBT audiences crave to see their own happy endings reflected back to them. And, just as clear, is that we will no longer sit passively by when we are disappointed and deceived by the stories we’re told.

The LGBT fandom’s reaction to this latest, tragic TV development is to stand up and demand accountability. To stand up and demand better stories. To stand up and demand we not be taken for granted as fans. If you’re a true ally, show us – don’t keep telling us you are. (And, conversely, don’t be sending out death threats or malicious messages to people who write make believe for a living – that helps no one.)

Look, tons of wonderful and eloquent fans have written on this topic already. Like here and here. You got LGBT FANS DESERVE better to trend for hours last week. And you’ve even inspired mainstream media like Variety and the GLAAD president to weight in on the situation. When you have 142 dead lesbian and bisexual characters on TV and only 16 or so TV shows where they have been given happy endings, the math is clearly off. That’s especially true when you consider there are currently more than 400 scripted shows on television. Our stories are few-and-far-between as is, and when they’re told they are disproportionately tragic.

While I’ve touched on this whole “The 100” situation in the last couple of weeks, I haven’t written too explicitly about the show on purpose because, again, I wasn’t watching. Like I said, it just wasn’t and isn’t my favorite. But the din of this controversy has risen above just one series and is now about what LGBT fans want, and demand, from their storytellers. It’s not just about the death of one beloved character. And that’s fantastic.

Even more fantastic, fans are turning their anger into positive action. Fans have come together to raise money for the Trevor Project. That campaign has so far raised more than $45,000. That’s a lot of money to help struggling LGBT youth. That’s a lot of good out of something bad. May it carry through to a continuous battle cry for more and better representations across all of entertainment, period. I’ve been writing about this stuff for a long time (10 years in April, folks). And I will always be on the side that advocates for more and better LGBT representations. It matters, it always had.

We will meet again, because this fight is not over.

On Our Crewson

More evidence that things are better in Canada, actress Wendy Crewson (who you will recognize from several movies – including gay ones) reaffirmed her gay ladiness when she was inducted into the Canadian Walk of Fame earlier this year. The ceremony was in January, but as their somewhat backward neighbors to the south news filters down slowly here, I guess. But there it is, big and lovely for everyone to see. This wasn’t actually Wendy’s official coming out, that was apparently in late 2014 when she came out in the Canadian press. Sheesh, we really are slow down here.

You will recognize Wendy from “Air Force One” (as Harrison Ford’s First Lady) and “The Santa Claus” (as Tim Allen’s ex) film franchise. But, who am I kidding, you actually recognize Wendy as the mom in the 1999 lesbian favorite “Better Than Chocolate” and then again as the lesbian realtor in the 2003 Lifetime movie “An Unexpected Love.” Oh, and she had a rather memorable same-sex dressing room shenanigans scene in the 2000 film “Mercy.” Yeah, now it’s all coming back to you.

I know this news is technically old news, but for me today it was new news. Also, who would pass up an opportunity to showcase not one but two (hello, Wendy Crewson’s equally attractive girlfriend) real-life gay ladies? Yeah, not this lady.

p.s. Here is Wendy as gay lady real estate agent Mac in “An Unexpected Love.” Sadly I couldn’t find her “Better Than Chocolate” vibrator scene on YouTube.



p.p.s. I could find the “Mercy” scene, yeah, you’re welcome.

All Our Happy Endings

There’s a reason all fairy tales end “…and they lived happily ever after.” The search for happiness – however we define that – is one of our most basic, fundamental drives. We therefore crave to see that happiness reflected in the stories we watch and read. Now that we’ve all collectively grieved and gotten really, really angry (and, in turn, turned that anger into something good) at out latest thwarted happy ending (RIP, Lexa, may we meet again on “Fear the Walking Dead”), it’s good to take stock of where we are.

Is every show that kills off an LGBT character terrible and irredeemably bad? Of course not. People die. Straight people and gay people and every single person who has been on Earth, is on Earth and will be on Earth will die – eventually. But, it does seem we’ve gotten an unfair shake, particularly on TV (hello, 135 characters and counting), when it comes to the Bury Your Gays trope. And I believe that’s because of the very nature of television shows. Unlike film, TV plays the long game. And, unlike film, TV often starts without a clear story ending in sight.

So today over at AfterEllen today in an effort to make myself feel better (and also a little worse) about our current television predicament by counting down all the shows that gave its gay lady couples a happy ending. I found 16. Over the course of TV history that is 16 shows, out of all the shows that have aired over all of the decades, where two gay ladies got to ride off into the sunset together. Yeah, I know, that’s not a ton of shows.

Those 16 shows gave us 18 happy endings for gay lady couples (two shows gave us two couples each, and it should not surprise you those shows focused on queer women). So, when you do the math, that makes for 36 happy lesbian or bisexual characters – total.

So please pop on over to AfterEllen later today and give it a look. Let me know who I left out. Lord knows each happy, non-dead lesbian character counts.

p.s. That’s only counting serialized live-action, English-language TV shows. Kudos, of course, go out to all the great foreign-language programs that have given its queer women happy endings.

Bunny and Kitty 4 Eva

In these truly distressing political times, I find my joy where I can. And few shows give me the kind of uninhibited, unexpected, unbreakable joy as “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” So, of course, you can imagine my glee at this new trailer. I may or may not have Googled bunny and kitty videos afterward.

My Weekend Crush

Well isn’t this something. Shondaland is totally Team Hillary. They’re with her, I’m with her. Yes, Hillary said some boneheaded things today while talking about Nancy Reagan at the woman’s funeral. She praised Mrs. Reagan’s “low-key advocacy” which she said “started national conversation” on HIV/AIDS awareness. This is simply not true, and I sincerely hope she walks back these comments soon*. But, again, all candidates are flawed. None is a magical unicorn that can snap her (or if it must be his) fingers and make the world a perfect, rainbow-filled place of peace and prosperity. Nor does it change the fact that there is absolutely no daylight between her current totally pro-LGBT platform and her competitor’s. I am behind her because she is a woman I trust can get things done, has gotten things done and will continue to get things done. Sure she has made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. She’s a human being. If you don’t support her in this primary election, that’s fine. But if you don’t support her to the point that you would rather let Donald Trump or Ted Cruz assumes the presidency, then you’ve crossed over into fantasy world somewhere way, way over the rainbow.

p.s. Don’t worry, I’m no hypocrite. If Bernie wins I’d totally vote for him, too.

p.p.s. *Oh thank God, she did.

Hillary Clinton’s statement on her comments about the Reagans' record on HIV and AIDS: pic.twitter.com/RtIs0zpJfk

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) March 11, 2016

p.p.p.s. And here, once more, is an even more thorough, detailed and I think definitive apology from Hillary. People make mistakes, but how you correct them really matters.

A note on the fight against HIV and AIDS—and the people who really started the conversation. https://t.co/7nT47FqDep

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) March 13, 2016

Gender Fuck Thursday

Does the real fear of our country falling under the neo-fascist rule of a racist, sexist short-fingered vulgarian got you down? Then how about some beautiful women of color in black-and-white to cheer you up? Oh, also they’re in various forms of so-called menswear. Why? Because irony is damn beautiful. You’re welcome, America. Now get the hell out there and vote. Oh, and Ted Cruz is just as bad. Shudder.

Viola Davis

Still catching up on HTGAWM Season 2. Question: Does it get gayer?

Gina Rodriguez

She is so damn delightful and I feel so damn guilty for being so damn behind on “Jane the Virgin.”

Janelle Monae

Every time I see Janelle in a suit my heart grows three sizes.

Archie Panjabi

I’m so excited Archie is finally getting her own series.

Angela Bassett

I don’t know why Angela keeps showing up in “American Horror Story,” since she is always so terribly underused. But bless her for continuing to do her very damn best with what she is given.

Lucy Liu

“Elementary” continues to be wonderful. That is all.

Zendaya

I think I am too old to fully understand who Zendaya is.

Janet Jackson

We should all follow Janet’s lead and sip copious amounts of tea throughout this entire insane election cycle.

My Happy Place

This just makes me so damn happy. And, it’s also gay because – well, hello – Ellen. Have I mentioned how happy this makes me? Yeah, don’t bother me on June 17. I’ll be in my “happy place.”

The Gillian Is Out There

Have you recovered from the utter nonsense that was this rebooted season of “The X-Files?” Yeah, me neither. But, good news, it seems to have had absolutely no effect on Gillian Anderson’s continued awesomeness. In fact, I think she might have become even more awesome – which may or may not even be humanly possible. As evidence, here is a vintage Hardee’s commercial starring Gillian from her pre-X-files days. She tweeted the video out with the succinct commentary “OMF-ingG!”



OMF-ingG, indeed.

Still not convinced? How about this size-matters tweet from last week?

Envy schmenvy. Stella wins! @davidduchovny #MuldervsStella pic.twitter.com/FhBgLTa2Zq

— Gillian Anderson (@GillianA) March 4, 2016

Eat your short-fingered heart out, Donald Trump.

And, finally, as if every gay lady in the universe dint’ already love here, there was this. Now I am dying for a Carol/Sandy prequel. MAKE IT HAPPEN, MOVIE GODS.

Before Therese, there was Sandy. ...it didn't end well. #tbt #Carol pic.twitter.com/MYdNlO1tvo

— Gillian Anderson (@GillianA) February 25, 2016

In summation, Gillian Anderson remains a flawless human specimen. And now the truth is out there.

Your Happy Ending

So something terrible happened to another lesbian character on TV last week. Without getting into the specifics (or spoilers), it’s safe to say that people are sad/angry/confused/exasperated/heartbroken et al. Because that’s what happens to when people become invested in the storylines of all too often marginalized groups – they invest. We invest hard. We invest it all. So then when the bottom falls out, we’re all too often left feeling even more alone and broken and miserable. And what makes it feel especially cruel all too often is the proximity to blissful happiness with which our untimely undoing comes. Consider it the Tara Maclay Effect.

The thing is, our stories matter to us so much because there are so few of them for us to cling to in the first place. For straight, white, non-trans audiences it’s easy to find stories to invest in because there are an infinite number of them to choose from in the first place. Don’t like that one? How about this one? Or that one? Or these 500,000 other ones? And still not happy with those 500,000, don’t worry another 500,000 more are coming.

But for LGBT audiences the paucity of great storylines – despite the wonderful strides we’ve taken in media in recent years – means each one still matters that much more. It’s why a film like “Carol” can matter to so many queer ladies, when to the straight world it may seem like just another love story. Or why a show like “Lost Girl” can resonate with so many gay gals, when to the straight world it may seem a little silly. Or why a rom-com like “Imagine Me & You” is held close to the heart of so many lesbian, bisexual and questioning women, when to the straight world it may seem lightweight. Seeing our reflections and our own happiness reflected back matters.

It will always matter for every group of people unaccustomed to seeing themselves on screen. Over the decades, we’ve become adept at seeing ourselves in other people’s stories. It’s a skill we’ve adapted to perfection out of basic necessity. But to be able to look up and instantly identify – without happing to jump through the mental hoops of transference – is a gift.

Look, one day all of this won’t matter as much. We will have our own millions of stories to choose from as well. So when we hurt of bleed or die it will be all right – because that’s what all humans do after all. We’re not there yet, but if we keep pushing and pulling and protesting and one day we will be.

But, remember this today. No matter what happens on TV shows, gay ladies, take heart. The happy endings you deserve are out there in real life.

p.s. SPOILER ALERT ALERT ALERT: I am talking about the show “The 100” which killed Lexa in it’s last episode. So that’s that.

My Weekend Crush

Hell to the yeah, I’m gonna call these ladies. Look, even if the trailer for the new “Ghostbusters” film didn’t look great (but it does look great because, hello, Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones), I would still be first in line to buy tickets. Because nothing makes me happier than supporting entertainment that drives misogynistic fanboys crazy. Would it have been nice if they’d maybe also made Leslie’s character a scientist? Yes, probably. But all is forgiven thanks to Kate’s little wink. Oh, to be that proton gun. Bring on the ectoplasm. Happy weekend, all.

The Cheese Knows

You guys, you guys. Why did none of you tell me that Tina Fey AND Rachel Maddow were going to be on “The Tonight Show” last night? Don’t you love me? Instead I had to stumble on it myself, by accident. But, oh, what an accident. Tina and Rachel even squared off in a game of Know It All. Is Jimmy Fallon reading my dream journal. I’ll let you watch the magnificence for yourself. .But rest assured I’m getting a T-shirt made that says “Chèvre is goat” and wearing it forever.

p.s. Rachel should have known better than to challenge La Fey on her Night Cheese.



p.p.s. You should watch both ladies’ interviews as well because, hello, they’re Tina Fey and Rachel Maddow.

The Lesbian Eeyore

Carrie Brownstein really needs no introduction to gay ladies. Sleater-Kinney, hello. The out bisexual artist has been on the scene since the 90s and just keeps getting better. Then there’s also “Portlandia,” where she plays all manner of kooky boys and girls and girls who like girls and boys you like girls and nearly everything else in between. But in the last year she has become something even more specifically iconic to us gay ladies. Carrie is now officially the Lesbian Eeyore. Hey, don’t get mad at me. I didn’t coin the phrase. The New Yorker TV critic Emily Nussbaum did. I’m just repeating it for prosperity. The good news, Carrie is clearly down with her new title.

@emilynussbaum @JuliaMayJonas Can I use this description in my résumé?

— Carrie Brownstein (@Carrie_Rachel) December 21, 2015

And she did earn the title, after all. Last year she was the also-ran of lesbians in not one but two high-profile projects. The first was the Cate Blanchett-Rooney Mara thirt-fest “Carol.” And the second was the second season of “Transparent.” [Warning: Mild spoilers for both follow]

In “Carol,” Carrie shows up in a short but memorable role near the end. When Therese goes to the apartment party after leaving Carol, Carrie shows up as The Other Lesbian. Poor dear, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with her. She was perfectly lovely. But once you’ve gone Cate, you can never go back.



In “Transparent,” Carrie continues her recurring role as Ali’s best friend, Syd. In the first season, it was clear Syd wanted more out of their relationship. In the second, Ali goes for it. But, these being the fantastically fucked up Pfeffermans, things go downhill fast. So, once again, poor Carrie.



Well, if you’re going to be the embodiment of the rejected lesbian love interest, you couldn’t do it with more style and class as Carrie.

Ides of March

Welcome to the Ides of March. Which is to say, we have to get through all of damn March for some of the best shows to come back. Damn, March. Back at it with the binge watch blocking. Fine, I’m sure it’s a fine month with many fine qualities. But April, it gets the fine shows.

Orphan Black back April 14 on BBC America

Oh lord, the mention of Delphine. Also, I think we can all agree the Dolly the Sheep mask is both brilliant and creepy. Brilliantly creepy.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt back April 15 on Netflix

Already so much fun and this is just a teaser trailer.

Ab Fab: The Movie opens July 22 in the U.S.

Fine, this isn’t in April. But, sweetie darling, does it matter when there’s Stoli?