With apologies to Chandler Bing: Can, open. Worms, everywhere. The Shenny secret is out. And upon hearing the news everyone experiences – what I like to call – an involuntary, uncomfortable Sphecter-Tightening. Prepare to pucker. Oh, and Shenny fans: relax, unclench – I come in peace. LMFAO, indeed.
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1) Who Wants Jenny Dead (WWJD) 2: “Fucking Jenny. I'm gonna fucking kill you.” 2) God, this is going to take some getting used to.3) No, really, possibly my entire life.4) Dude, I just had the weirdest dream.5) Alice: Sphecter-Tightening Illustrated6) Just Tweet all your friends; it’s so much faster.7) Maybe even several lifetimes.8) Paging Mr. Seinfeld. We’ve located your puffy shirt.9) What? The personality transplant? It itches a little, I guess.10) A swim you say? Hmm, I’ll consider it.11) WWJD 3: Just in case you didn’t hear Tina the first time.12) Oh, God. The crazy. It’s contagious.13) Fun Gay: FAIL14) Inelegant kiss avoidance in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…15) Fuck, this is my script? What’s next, a Post-It?16) Where can I get me one of these? Seriously.17) No way, I’m only the second Asian-American character ever?18) Wait, did I flip over to an after-school special on accident?19) Wow, the economy really is bad. Shane is recycling outfits.20) Hey, Chaiken. Stop trying to make this happen.21) The only appropriate responses to Shenny.
New Guestbian Count: Jamie Chen (Mei Melançon)
What She Said: “Bette, you are and will always be the woman of my dreams.” – Phyllis to Bette
Least True Statement Ever: “Alice is so annoying.” – Jenny to Shane
Most True Statement Ever: “Boundaries? Jenny doesn’t even know the meaning of the word.” – Helena to Alice
Most Jenny Thing to Say Ever: “I’m happy we fucked.” – Jenny to Shane the morning after
Most Deluded Thing to Say About Jenny Ever: “And I have to believe that she is not going to get weird.” – Shane to Alice the afternoon after
Murder, Ilene Wrote Finally Explained: “It’s about a talk show host who is really fantastic and is dating a cop who is dark and broody. They get caught up in this murder mystery so there’s like car chases and it’s got the action excitement. It’s kind of ‘Foul Play’ meets “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.’ So it’s got the romantic, action. It’s kind of got everything.” – Alice pitching Jenny her treatment