Showing posts with label Elizabeth Mitchell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elizabeth Mitchell. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Resolve this

Right, so it is a whole four days into this New Year and about time for a status check. How many resolutions have you already broken? How many have you conveniently forgotten? How many have you told yourself you’d give yourself a week to start? Be honest now. This is the internet, and no one ever lies on the internet. How about me, you ask? Well, this year instead of draconian dictates demanding better behavior, I’ve decided to make just one resolution. And my sole resolution is simple. Cut myself some slack.

Now you might be thinking, Goddammit Snarker, you slacker, you’re already as slack as slack can get. Put on a pair of slacks and you’ll be the poster child for the Gap’s new slouchy khakis campaign, “Slackers, because only your dad wears Dockers.”

But, seriously, I think it’s something we should all aspire to. People can demand a lot of us – our family, our friends, our work, our partners. But sometimes, oftentimes, we demand the most out of ourselves. And, when we don’t reach our own lofty expectations, we are also often hardest on ourselves. I can and have been mighty hard on myself in the past. Why can’t I write better? Why can’t I post more? Why can’t I answer more email? Why can’t I be better, smarter, funnier, honester – wait, is honester a word? – see the smarter thing above.

And then, then you spend a lot of useless time beating yourself up. This is almost never time well spent and almost always counterproductive. Because instead of the “Why can’t Is,” you should be focused on the “What can Is.” What can I do to write better? What can I do to post more? And, the best question of all, what can I do to be happier? The whys may give you the cause, but the whats will give you the directions.

So, that’s it for me for 2012: Cut myself some slack. If I can’t do everything, I simply can’t do everything. But I can try my very best at the things I can do. And that, that I will always promise you. Well, that and continued adoration of Tina Fey. Please, like you had to ask.

So with that, because I can and because I’m kinda good at it, here are some lovely ladies for you to enjoy in various states of dress. But in black and white, because that makes the objectification more classy. It’s a rule, look it up in your college art books. Hey, just because I’m cutting myself some slack doesn’t mean I don’t want to occasionally have you fine folks stare slack-jawed at your screens.

Michelle RodriguezIf you’re thinking, “My, that’s a big gun,” you’re thinking about the wrong thing.

Catherine Zeta-JonesEvery time I see her I want to turn to Michael Douglas and say, “Dude, nicely done.”

Elizabeth MitchellUncontrollable jealously of a pillow in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Diane LaneNormally I’m against shoes on the couch, normally.

Stana KaticI finally saw that movie where she plays a wife-stealing lesbian. Poor Greg Kinnear never stood a chance.

Tina TurnerIn contrast, if you’re thinking, “My, that’s a big gun” here, you’re thinking about the very right thing.

Happy 2012, kittens. Be good to yourself, you’re worth it.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Tank Top Tuesday: Gay it Forward

You know, I’m supposed to notice Stephanie March’s big yellow bandana. Because, you know, it’s yellow. But you know what I notice, well, besides the tank top? Her watch. That’s a big gay watch. Now, of course, I know Stephanie isn’t gay. She’s got Bobby freaking Flay cooking for her at home. But, she does play gay convincingly (as the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian on “30 Rock”). And, of course, gives good subtext with one Det. Olivia Benson. So, wait, where was I going with this? Oh right, those who play gay for our pleasure. Sometimes, they also wear pretty gay things for our pleasure, too. Like watches. And, of course, my personal favorite – tank tops.

Elizabeth MitchellElizabeth has earned the honorary hot plate for playing gay not once, not twice but three times. If she does a fourth, I say we have it bronzed.

Penelope CruzPenelope has only done it twice for us – but it was Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, respectively. So, you know, good job.

Charlize TheronFine, so also played a lesbian serial killer. But, you know, nobody’s perfect.

Shay MitchellPoor dear, “A” made Emily a juicer. Though on the plus side, think of the muscle definition.

Patricia ClarksonSometimes I still expect her to talk with a German slur, like Greta from “High Art.”

Zoe SaldanaShe got to make out with Mila Kunis before it was Oscar-worthy to make out with Mila Kunis.

Piper PeraboAlso a twofer, but let’s be honest, we’ll love her forever just for kissing Lena.

Jenny ShimizuShe doesn’t have to play. She just is. My, is she ever.

Thanks for gaying it forward, ladies. And, yes, the tank tops.

EDIT: Looks like Piper and Penelope get their honorary hot plates as well for making the third time the charm. We anxiously await their fourth.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

What geekery is this?

True story: I loved action figures as a kid. I know, not to surprising given my overall continued tomboy tendencies. But I LOVED them. I could play quietly for hours, lost in my own fantasy world where my Han Solo figure bickered with my Buck Rogers figure and Princess Leia went ahead and rescued Superman instead. My childhood fantasy world was kind of awesome. But being a geek then was different than being a geek now. Now it has a cache. Geeks, like bowties – if you ask The Doctor, are cool. But then, geeks were geeks. So it’s with a slightly bemused sense of satisfaction when I watched all the pretty ladies clamor to get their geek on last weekend weekend at Comic-Con.

So in celebration of everyone’s inner and outer geek, here are some lovely ladies getting geeky. Geekery, it’s not just for geeks anymore.

Alyson Hannigan
Alyson Hannigan
Willow will always be my favorite geek. Always.

Anna TorvThese should be Special Agent Olivia Dunham action figures, but otherwise, perfect.

Lucy LawlessWhen lesbian subtext and geek fandom collides.

Anika Noni RoseSo this is kind of more of a “doll,” but Anika looks so happy to be holding herself it’s pretty geeky.

Meryl StreepThis is her “Fantastic Mr. Fox” figure. If there was a real Meryl Streep action figure I would buy two. One to keep new in the box and another to play with. Wait, that sounded weird. Good.

Elizabeth MitchellThese aren’t technically action figures either, but getting this excited about your cake doppelgangers is's adorageeky.

Yvonne StrahovskiAlso, not an action figure. But it’s a light saber. So, you know, even better.

Sarah Michelle GellarBuffy is using Darth Vader as an armrest. Your argument is invalid.

Felicia DayIf Felicia in a squid hat doesn’t brighten your day, then you are probably not a geek.

Natalie PortmanGeeks and politics, two great things that go great together.

Karen GillanNow that is how you play with action figures.

Britt Robertson, Maggie Q, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Morrison & Anna TorvI don’t know who Britt Robertson is, but otherwise, GEEKGASM.

Check out the special Comic-Con issue of The Hollywood Reporter for more on Sarah, Anna, Yvonne, Maggie et al.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Your Fake TV Wife

So the other day my good friend TheLinster gave me a gentle yet firm warning to step off her woman, Elizabeth Mitchell. It was a clear and understandable setting of boundaries. Every friendship needs boundaries. It also highlighted a little-talked-about, but extremely basic tenant of relationships in this modern media age. Everyone has a Fake TV Wife, and that Fake TV Wife is off limits to her friends. I mean that’s just like The Rules of Feminism. This beyond just the Fantasy Freebie list we all have (some of us even laminated). This is about calling dibs, staking a claim, marking one’s territory. This, my friends, is serious business. Now, of course, we don’t mind if our friends appreciate our Fake TV Wives. In fact, we encourage it. Who doesn’t want a hot wife, fake or otherwise? But when it comes to the serious business of actually virtually making a move – whoa there, cowgirl. Hands off. Back away. Don’t even think about it. We take our delusional relationships very seriously here, OK.

Of course, the big caveat to the Fake TV Wife Rule is that it only applies to your friends. I mean, you would hope that strangers would also acknowledge your fictional marriage, but only the truest of friends understand the depth of one’s imaginary commitment. So with that, here is a peek into a few of my friends’ off-limits Fake TV Wives.

Me: Tina Fey, duhIf at this point you still don’t know that Tina is my Fake TV Wife, then I’m not sure we can be friends.

The Linster: Elizabeth MitchellAnd if Elizabeth is wearing a baseball cap, Linster will cut a bitch for even looking at her.

Heather Hogan: Eve MylesA Welsh accent and guns. Like Heather even had a chance.

Scribegrrrl: Meryl StreepGranted, this is more like a Fake Movie Wife, but it’s Meryl fucking Streep, so we’ll accept it.

Right, your turn. Tell me about the women you’ve promised to love, honor and cherish until death and/or reality do you part.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

There's no V in adorable

Confession: I stopped watching “V” last year because it was taking forever for something, anything to happen. I’m a relatively patient person, but I do want a payoff now and then. And despite its great set-up and stellar cast (Elizabeth Mitchell AND Morena Baccarin AND lizard people), I just couldn’t take the glacial pacing. Show me some freaky alien freakiness. Show me someone eating a guinea pig. Something. Anything. Now, I understand things have gotten better. And I’m sure people who stuck with it feel rewarded. But me, yeah, I’m letting other shows fill up my DVR for now. This doesn’t mean I don’t have some regrets at stopping (and, yes, I know through the magic of DVDs and The Internets I could easily catch up if I wanted to). But, the thing is, I don’t have the time or desire at this point. Really, the only thing I feel genuinely guilty about is not supporting Elizabeth Mitchell.

Elizabeth is an actress I pretty much adore, but who I’ve seen in very few things. First there was “Gia,” of course. And then “ER.” No, I never watched “Lost,” but I’ve admitted that before and you can sic the smoke monster on me all you want. I’m just not going on that six-season cruise. Still with Elizabeth (and her expertly arched eyebrows) her empathy and strength comes through immediately. So you don’t even need to see her in many roles to know. Which, again, brings up the guilt. Because how could I not support someone like that? What am I, a heartless alien? Then, the coup de grace of guilt came in the form of Elizabeth’s TV Guide Cubicle Confessions. She loves Buffy! She love Star Wars! She does the Jabba laugh! My geeky heart just exploded!

Please forgive me, Elizabeth. And, while you’re feeling generous, please do tell us about being naked in heels. I promise not to do the inch in if we ever meet. Promise.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tank Top Tuesday: Lost Edition

I never watched “Lost.” Not one episode. Not even five minutes. Never. But I still felt curious about the finale this weekend. As a person who prides herself on her pop culture prowess, I just had to know. How does it end? So I watched the last 15 minutes. Yes, yes – I know. You can’t just watch the last 15 minutes of any show and expect to understand. So, basically I had no idea what was going on. But from a lot of regular watchers’ initial reactions, I wasn’t the only one. [Spoilers Alert: If you haven’t watched the finale, SKIP TO THE PICTURES!] So, dude, how about that Sixth Sensing of the finale? We’re all seeing dead people. In church! And then there was a dog! I honestly don’t know what to make of it all, but I do know that I commend “Lost” for spinning a hell of a yarn that engrossed a hell of a lot of people for six seasons. Well, that and employing some gorgeous, gorgeous women and stranding them on a desert island with a wardrobe full of tank tops. So long, “Lost,” I hardly knew you.

Evangeline Lilly (Kate)Michelle Rodriguez (Ana Lucia)Maggie Grace (Shannon)Rebecca Mader (Charlotte)Yunjin Kim (Sun)Emilie de Ravin (Claire) Cynthia Watros (Libby)Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet)She even looks good all dirty and bedraggled in her tank top.

So I guess the only question now is who is your favorite twosome?

Libby & Ana LuciaJuliet & Kate

What? I said I didn’t watch, not that I didn’t keep track of who was who and who looked particularly hot in a tank top.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The waiting is the hardest part

Hey, TV. Yeah, you, you big Idiot Box. Look, that I love you is unquestioned. I watch you constantly. We spend more time together than I do with most of my family members. And, let’s face it, you know all of my guilty pleasures. In short, we’re close. So I feel comfortable telling you, in no uncertain terms, that you suck. Yes, suck. S-U-C-K, suck.

Look, it’s not your programming (although a lot of that does suck – come on, “Gary Unmarried,” really?). But it’s your scheduling. As in, dude, why are you making me wait so long for my shows to come back-scheduling? Three of my favorite new series this season are settling in for long winter’s naps. Like Rip Van Winkle-long naps. Think I’m kidding?
Vampire Diaries*
Last 2009 episode: Nov. 19
First 2010 episode: Jan. 21
(*Don’t judge: It’s actually really fun.)

Last 2009 episode: Nov. 24
First 2010 episode: March

Last 2009 episode: Dec. 9
First 2010 episode: April 13

WHAT THE HELL? That’s more than FOUR WHOLE MONTHS for “Glee.” And the shortest wait is still two months. These are unacceptably long mid-season breaks. I mean, I understand when networks decide to delay the start of a season. “Lost” and “24” fans can surely commiserate. But putting a crazy long vacation in the middle of your first season is just, well, dumb. It does two stupid things: 1) Kills critical momentum and 2) Pisses off fans.

Fans like me. Now, I’ll probably wait patiently for all these shows to return (though I’m still not 100 percent on “V” – on one hand the plotting isn’t giving me enough, on the other there’s Elizabeth Mitchell). But it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. In fact, I’m exactly the opposite. Anyone who makes me wait four months to see Jane Lynch again is a total loser. L-l-l-l-oser!

So, expect the cold shoulder this winter, TV. Can I ignore you completely? Clearly, no. You’re sitting right there like a big bully in the middle of my living room. But I won’t be watching you as much or as intently. Who knows, maybe I’ll even rekindle my love affair with books. Plus, books never make you wait for no good reason before you can turn the page. Take that, television.

Friday, November 06, 2009

My Weekend Crush

Few women arch an eyebrow quite as well as Elizabeth Mitchell. It just sits there, cocked and ready. It waits for your next move. It knows things. No, I’m not kidding, it really knows things. It knows what it’s like to kiss Angelina Jolie. (For the record, it’s “pillowy and fabulous. Honestly, you got lost in her lips. It was almost overwhelming, like a peach.”) It knows what it’s like to kiss Laura Innes. It knows what it’s like to roll around naked with Angelina Jolie. Look, it just knows things that we will never know.

One of the many great things about Elizabeth is that for a beautiful woman she is awfully scrappy. You wouldn’t think it at first with her delicate features and willowy frame. But that girl can scrap. As Juliet on “Lost” and now as FBI agent and alien fighter Erica Evans on “V,” she brings a competent intensity to her portrayals. I think to truly play brainy and tough well, you have to be a little bit of both. And Elizabeth is a lot of both. But what she also has is the ability to convey incredible empathy. Like if she were to look at you with those blue, blue eyes she would know you instantly and completely. And if she were to cock that eyebrow at you, well, if you’re really, really lucky maybe you’d get to know her, too. Happy weekend, all.