Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
“When I’m not working, I am the laziest person. I can literally lie on a couch and watch television for 15 hours. I hate people who say, ‘Oh, I’m addicted to working out.’ I just want to punch those people in the face.”
Like I was saying, hilarious. But, you know, you don’t have to trust me. Trust Jennifer instead in a little compilation I made of her recent talk show appearances.
I don’t even need to see the movie, because I’m totally smitten. But, don’t worry, I’m still totally seeing the movie. Jennifer’s so damn adorable, how can I not?
Now I just wish some interviewer would ask if her mom still thinks she’s a lesbian because of all the naked ladies she’s been painting. Ball’s in your court, TV interviewers. Don’t fail me now.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Now, I happen to be lucky enough to have scored myself a signed copy of “Drift.” Yes, Rachel “Dreamboat” Maddow signed something that resides in my home this very minute. Please, try not to let your all-encompassing jealousy be too all encompassing.
But, because I’m a giver – well, more accurately, because Crown Publishing is a giver – I happen to have a spare. That’s right, I have another signed hardcover first edition of Rachel’s “Drift” to give away to one of you. So, kittens, this is your chance. If you’re interested in winning your very own signed copy of “Drift,” please hit me up in the comments section with your email address (spell it out if you fear Das Spam) by next Wednesday, April 4. I’ll randomly pick a winner from all your entries. Then I’ll announce the winner on Twitter, so follow me @dorothysnarker and please include your Twitter handle or what you’d like to be called on the Tweeter Machine in your entry. Consider this contest a little thank you from me to you for coming back day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year to enjoy my tiny corner of the internet. The gift of Maddow is the least I could do, really.
p.s. Oh, and if you have a chance, tell me where you are reading from in the world. I love knowing where all you fine folks are from.
UPDATE: Entries in the contest are now closed. Thanks for playing along!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
It’s also interesting to note that rival premium channel Showtime has made a bit of a name for itself in recent years going the opposite route. They’ve created rich, complex shows centered around women. “Weeds,” “Nurse Jackie,” “United States of Tara,” “The Big C,” “Homeland” and, lest we forget, “The L Word.” So call it progress or call it wanting to recoup an ignored segment of the market share, HBO is hopping on the estrogen train.
Now, I’m intrigued by both shows. The first is “Girls,” debuting April 15. It’s from filmmaker Lena Dunham. It’s title is fairly self-explanatory. It follows four young 20something women as they navigate, more life fumbling through, life in New Your City. The trailer looks promising, but also makes me cringe like crazy. Because you couldn’t pay me to be 24 again either. Especially 24 like this.
My only qualms about this show are 1) the cringe factor – I’m not sure how much I want to relive the mistakes of youth played out for laughs and 2) Four women in New York City and no one has a friend of a different ethnicity? That’s a lotta white girls for the biggest melting pot in the United States of America.
The other show is “Veep,” debuting April 22. It stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the first female vice president. And Anna Chlumsky is also a series regular, so that answers the question of “What every happened to that girl from 'My Girl'?” From the trailer it looks pretty damn funny. I wasn’t really sold on the premise alone, but after watching the clips I’m setting my DVR.
Like a zanier “The West Wing,” but without the sneaking suspicion that President Bartlet did a crappy job raising Charlie Sheen.
Like their slogans says, it’s not TV, it’s ladies on HBO – finally.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Natalie PortmanJust to keep the “Is it Natalie or Keira” confusion going, she did her own movie as bow-and-arrow wielding warrior in “Your Highness.”
Lena HeadeyI’m thinking up a zany crossover movie where Lena’s flower girl Luce from “Imagine Me & You” and huntress Angelika from “The Brothers Grimm” go on a road trip and to rescue fairy tale characters and kiss pretty girls. Fine, admittedly I haven’t thought it through very much.
Anna PopplewellI really loved the “Chronicles of Narnia” growing up, but it wasn’t exactly brimming with strong female heroines. Thank heavens for Susan Pevensie and her trusty bow and arrow.
Jessica Biel“Blade Trinity” was not a good movie. But it did introduce us to Jessica Biel’s magnificent shoulder muscles. And for that the universe will forever be grateful.
Jennifer Garner“Elektra” was not a good movie either. And not even seeing Jennifer prance around in a crime-fighting wardrobe made by Victoria’s Secret could make me thank the universe for it.
Jennifer LawrenceJennifer trained with a four-time Olympian and arching champion for her role in “The Hunger Games.” But I don’t think that’s why all the showings I wanted to go to were sold out this weekend.
Stana KaticDid you know besides speaking like half a dozen languages she also enjoys flamenco, falconry and a little archery on the side? Don’t worry, PETA, I don’t think she practices her archery and falconry at the same time.
Geena DavisGeena is another real-live archer, who even tried out for the 2000 Olympics team. She didn’t make the team, but that’s OK because she already has some gold hardware named Oscar at home.
Lucy LiuI have no idea why she’s using a bow and arrow while wearing this jaunty little outfit, but I entirely approve.
Christina HendricksLikewise, I have no idea why Christina is posing seductively in a spiked leather jacket with a bow and arrows. But, again, not complaining.
Princess MeridaI dork out so hard when I think about this movie, you guys. I am so ready to be “Brave.”
Friday, March 23, 2012
When other magazines photograph actresses, they routinely end up running heavily Photoshopped images, with every last wrinkle expunged. Their skin is rendered so improbably smooth that, with the biggest stars, you wonder why the photographer didn’t just do a shoot with their waxwork…..Granted, Cate Blanchett and her face are still more beautiful and radiant without the help of any digital wizardy than most of us would look after being given the full Pixar treatment. But it’s certainly a comment on our culture when someone actually looking like they actually look in real life actually makes the news. We’ve come to the point where we’re surprised when a photograph reflects the reality of it’s photographing. Call it a little art imitating life for a change. How incredibly refreshing. Happy weekend, all.
Cate Blanchett, by contrast, appears on our cover in her working clothes, with the odd line on her face and faint bags under her eyes. She looks like what she is—a woman of 42, spending her days in an office, her evenings on stage and the rest of her time looking after three young children.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Diane KrugerThe tuxedo shirt and bow ties says business. The sleeveless arms say parrrrr-tay.
Kate MoennigShhh. Don’t speak. You’ll ruin the religious experience.
Winona RyderWell, I didn’t say you had to button the shirt.
Kristen BellOr that the shirt had to have any buttons, period.
Rachel MaddowNow comes the part in the religious experience where you should be leaving small offerings as a sign of respect.
Keira KnightleyOK, fine. She’s not wearing a crisp white shirt. My bad.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The first is “Snow White and the Huntsman,” where she steps up unlikeable and takes it all the way to evil as the Evil Queen. And then it’s in action hero mode in the “Alien” prequel “Prometheus.” Man, do both these movies look good. Like, let’s do this, buy the jumbo tub of popcorn, my body is ready good. And in part that’s because, well, they just look cool. But also because they are both films with strong female leads and impressive casts. “Snow White” also stars Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and some spiffy looking special effects. And “Prometheus” includes spiffy looking cast Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce and Idris Elba – plus some spiffy special effects. All in all, I’m ready for the Season of Charlize in the cinema. Bring it, blondie.
So, which movie are you most excited for? Me, I’m going double feature.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Lena HeadeyShe’ll be back on “Game of Thrones” starting April 1. I still don’t love the blonde hair. But, you know, I’ll cope.
Padma LakshmiEvery time “Top Chef” ends, I feel my TV get sad because she’ll be gone until the next season. Sighhhh.
Janina GavankarShe’ll return to “True Blood” this summer. And as Luna she doesn’t wear stupid hats.
Kaya ScodelarioShe’ll be back on the BBC this spring in a show where she makes out with Billie Piper. “Skins” and Naomily clearly wore off on her.
Summer GlauShe doesn’t have a show she’s coming back to. Seriously. Why has no one put her on another TV show?*
*Apparently she is guesting on Grey's, and filming a pilot. So, huzzah!
Linda HamiltonYeah. Mostly this is an excuse to post Linda and her guns again. But, you know, she was on “Weeds” there for a season. Now don’t bother me, I’m drooling.
Monday, March 19, 2012
It’s getting might discouraging out there for us ladies with what passes for political discourse these days. Bills to allow employers to decide what health care we can have. Bills to allow doctors to insert medical devices into our bodies without our consent. National broadcasters who feel justified calling us “sluts” and “prostitutes” and national politicians who don’t think we need to be represented on panels discussing birth control. Yes, these are crazy times to be a modern woman. I mean, it’s not like the pill first came on the market some 52 years ago. Whereas Viagra was invented 14 years ago, and no one is passing bills to make sure it’s being used for procreation purposes only. But, hey, a guy’s got to get it up, am I right? Right. While certain voices in today’s politics seem determined to bring us back to the Stone Age, we’ve fought long and hard for gains. And we won’t go back into the kitchen or the cave. Because we’re awesome. And despite what all those men in suits say, we run this motha. Happy Monday, ladies.
Friday, March 16, 2012
News this week that her real-life portrayer Gillian Anderson revealed her past relationships with women was the “I knew it!”-moment heard around the lesboverse. If you saw gay ladies high fiving each other on the street, this is why. Because we’ve always felt a kinship with Scully, with Anderson. We’ve always just, well, believed. She was one of us. And now we’ve confirmed how operational our collective gaydars are on at least Anderson, we can go forth and make even more vivid fantasies about our very own Special Agent. Because believe me, the truth is out there. And that truth is stone cold gay. Happy weekend, all.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Make no mistake, Sarah Palin was not picked for her record as a less-than-one-term governor of Alaska. She was not picked for her foreign or domestic policy expertise. She was not picked for her name recognition. She was not picked because of her capabilities or intellect or ambition. She was picked because she was a woman. Which, if we’re going to talk sexism, hello there.
Which brings me back to the feeling sorry for Palin stuff. Not for long, mind you. But for longer than I ever imagined. Much of this – heck, probably 99.9 percent of this – I credit to the wonderful Julianne Moore. Her portrayal is richly nuanced and delicately layered. This is far more than mimicry, this is an attempt to understand exactly what is ticking under that Bump-It. And through her we watch Palin transform from a folksy deer in headlights to a savage political powermonger. Did Palin know she was in over her head? Almost certainly. Do I feel bad someone so out of her element was thrown into the deep end of national arena? Sure, some. Do I think McCain comes off too scott-free in the campaign’s collapse? Pretty definitely. Do I think Palin got a taste for the spotlight and decided to hold onto it at all costs? You betcha.
Which is not to say that I have a problem with Palin’s ambition. I do not. Women should be allowed to be ambitious, and nakedly so, just like men. All too often we talk differently about women’s ambition than men’s ambition. Women are pushy. Men are bold. Women are nags. Men are particular. So on and so on. God, it’s tiring.
What I have a problem with about Palin is her basic lack of competency, willful zealotry and calculating use of divisive politics. One of the biggest problems with politics today is we tend to demonize the opposition. Our side is all good, their side all bad. One side is right, the other wrong. Side of angels, side of devils. And so on and so forth. It’s a lousy way to run a country. Without compromise, two opposing sides will never agree to do anything. How can they – when the other side is evil. Or at least they want you to believe the other side is evil. As a strategy. As a way to distract us from what matters.
So when the McCain-Palin ticket says Barack Obama pals around with terrorists, it’s not much of a leap is it for whipped up crowds to call him a terrorist himself. Or when Palin draws imaginary borders around what she considers “the real America,” it’s not hard to paint the rest of us as simply un-American. And that, that’s what I despise about Sarah Palin. Not that she’s an ambitious woman. Not that she’s found some degree of success. It’s that she’s making our political discourse worse, not better.
That’s why a movie like “Game Change” really matters. It’s not the gossipy backstabbing and musical blame-game. It’s peeling back the layers to see what makes a person tick, and what makes our politicians work. It shows us real American politics – and no matter how pretty it smiles, it’s all-too-often ugly underneath.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
People look to art for countless reasons. Entertainment. Information. Distraction. Validation. Meaning. It can do all those things, it can do none of those things. It’s entirely what we make it. And sometimes, just sometimes, it can give us the power to heal ourselves. Or, at the very least, help start to put the pieces back together. There are countless worthy art projects in the world. Some are more famous than others. Some are more effective than others. But today, today I feel moved beyond words to talk about Project Unbreakable. It’s a simple concept, so simple it’s surprising it hasn’t been done before. That is to photograph sexual assault survivors holding the posters with quotes from their attackers. In essence, it a project to “take the power back of the words that were once used against them.” Will this project end sexual assault as we know it? No. Every two minutes someone in the Unites States is sexually assaulted. But what it can do is help to heal those who have been assaulted and release the shame that is all too often associated with such attacks.
I feel fortunate so far in my life to not be among those statistics. But women I know, women I love deeply, are. And there are so many more, both men and women. Project Unbreakable was started by Grace Brown, a 19-year-old freshman at The School of Visual Arts in New York. Scrolling through the project filled me with both anger and hope. Anger at a society that allows attackers to think treating another human being this way is ever acceptable. Hope that we can come together to heal the hurt and turn the shame around onto the people who really deserve it. We humans can be monstrous sometimes. But we can also be each other’s better, unbreakable angels. I want to live in a world with more of the latter.
Project Unbreakable is in the midst of a modest funding project. You won’t find any red bracelets or hip posters or action kits for sale, but there are several nifty gifts available at different funding levels. Check it out and throw it a few dollars if you can.
For those seeking counseling or emergency support, please contact RAINN for free and confidential help.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sure, it’s just a chaste little peck on the cheek. But that split second is the beginning. From that moment on, Idgie would do anything to see Ruth’s smile. And we know it, too. And it’s glorious.
Willow & Tara, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (Entropy, S6E18)
[Starts at 13:28]
This wasn’t Willow and Tara’s first kiss. This wasn’t Willow & Tara’s last kiss. But it was the kiss that showed more than just the love between these two women, which we always knew was there, but the passion. This was that moment that nothing else mattered, and they just had to be kissing each other. Right now.
Alice & Dana, “The L Word” (Limb from Limb, S1E13)
Of course Dana can’t marry Tonya. Of course. Because of Alice. That’s why.
Bette & Tina, “The L Word” (Let’s Get This Party Started, S5E4)
Three words: Hunger. Anguish. Love.
Naomi & Emily, “Skins” (Katie & Emily, S3E9)
Three more words: Hot. Hot. Hot.
Camille & Petra, “When Night is Falling”
When trepidation mixes with wonder, when desire overtakes fear, you have a kiss that speaks volumes while saying absolutely nothing at all.
So, kittens, now it’s your turn. Show me your smooches.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Kate Moennig, Clea DuVall, Lucy Lawless and Sandra Bernhard, on my!
p.s. Um, Kate, I like recycling and cuddling, and I’d never let a real cat get out of a real house. Just saying.
Friday, March 09, 2012
Then, finally, I saw one that made me say wow. Granted, I saw it this year. But it came out last year. And I’ve wanted to see it for what seems like forever. And that movie is “Pariah.” You’ve probably heard about it too, and if you’re lucky you’ve had a chance to see it for yourself. It’s a lovely slice of filmmaking – really everything you want from a movie. Insightful. Emotional. Beautiful. Truthful.
This striking first feature from writer-director Dee Rees takes a small story and makes it universally felt. Because we have all felt like Alike. We have all felt like an outsider. We have all felt like a stranger in our own skin. We have all felt like we could not be our true selves – if only for a moment. But for Alike, played by the wonderfully expressive Adepero Oduye, that feeling is more than a moment. It is her home. And in her portrayal we can see, through unblinking eyes, how hard it can be to bit is to be rejected for just being who you are. Yet also the courage it takes to choose your own happiness.
We may not all come from the same background as Alike. We may all have different paths through life. But we all want to be ourselves, whatever that may be. And we hope that the wider world will not only allow it, but embrace who we are. We want to say yes our truth, because our truth is all we are. We are not broken, we are free. Happy weekend, all.
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Have I mentioned how much I also love her hair?
And her retro sunnies?
And the way this photo makes it look like Jennifer and Ginnifer are totally going to gay prom together?
OK, fine, maybe the suit is just a suit. But the hands pushed persistently in her pockets?
Yeah, that’s definitely a sign that she likes us.