Thursday, December 06, 2012

Sleeping Warrior awakens

This may be sacrilege, but I am going to discuss another ship on Gayzzoli day. Look, it's a big ocean. Plenty of room for all the ships. And sometimes they might even bump in the night. So, I'm finally all caught up on my "One Upon a Time." And I can honestly say I spent the entire last episode screaming, "KISS HER!" OK, maybe not the entire episode. But what seemed like the vast majority. The other half I spent going, "Wait, is Hook good now? Or bad? Or just there for the gay boys to have something pretty?" But every time Mulan and Aurora interacted? KISS HER! And when Emma and Regina finally reunited as Henry's two mommies? KISS HER! And when Regina didn't get invited to dinner but everyone damn else did? INVITE HER TO DINNER, THEN KISS HER! Now, I can't say I watch this show as religiously as other shows. Sometimes, like recently, two or three weeks stack up. But when I do watch it I certainly enjoy the fantasy and strong female characters. We just won't discuss some of the bad CGI. It'll be our little unspoken secret. That and how terrible at this whole acting thing the kid who plays Henry continues to be.

But, I digress. The reason I am really writing is to discuss what has to be the most unsubtextual subtext I've seen on TV this side of "Rizzoli & Isles." And instead of it being the way Lana Parrilla devours Jennifer Morrison with her eyes, it's every scene written between Mulan and Aurora. First, Aurora begs - yes, actually begs - Mulan to tie her up. Then Mulan promising to give Aurora back her heart. Then Mulan physically penetrating Aurora with said heart. And the dialogue before the heart scene:

Aurora: Have you done this before?
Mulan: No. [thrusts fist into Aurora]



Um. Yeah. I see what you did there, writers. I see. That's the least subtle lesbian sex metaphor since the time Willow and Tara did that spell where they literally drew an enormous "O" around themselves and then, um, achieved said O.

16 comments:

Jonesy said...

Priceless, PRICELESS! ^.^

Greet said...

Lol. I never interpreted it that way, but I see it now. You dirty mind, you! ;)

Anonymous said...

"Thrusts fist into Aurora"

Hee! Hee! How deliciously naughty of you darling!

I say, that Mulan's a bit of alright though!

PD

Anonymous said...

Please enlighten this lesbian moron.....CGI?!?!

Anonymous said...

The mulan chick is a horrilbe actress and the show has been not been one I want to see since there has not been enough L.P. Which is all I need.

Dylena said...

@Anonymous (lesbian moron) ;)

CGI means Computer Generated Imagery, it's the name for computer generated visual effects for movies and TV-shows.

Anonymous said...

"The mulan chick is a horrilbe actress"

Can't speak to that seeing as I haven't seen any more of her than Snarks posted here. Bad acting or not, she's pretty hot though wouldn't you say? ;)

PD

Anonymous said...

is anyone else bummed that the seemingly unavoidable conclusion is for Mulan to die as a sacrifice for Prince Phillip & Aurora to be reunited?

they end the episode going off to rescue him, they're both in love with him, and this is Disney, so out of a love triangle, the white couple is probably going to survive. maybe i'm just being wildly pessimistic, but i'd been hoping Mulan would be fleshed-out more as a character.

Florence said...

Oh.My.God.
Well, I have to catch up on Once Upon Time now. I stopped half way through the first season because I didn't have enough time (and because let's face it, I was more focused on other shows).
But yeah, now, I'll find the time ;-)

Anonymous said...

YES! ALSO RED BEAUTY!

Dice said...

I might have pretty much spent 2 minutes of that happy reunion scene yelling "somebody invite Regina to dinner!!"...and then I might have gotten teary eyed

Anonymous said...

PD. Mulan is hot if she doesn't talk.

Anonymous said...

"Sleeping Warrior awakens"

That you getting up after being well and truly Murphied last night then is it Snarks darling?

Looking forward to your salvo, I must say! ;)

PD

Jody said...

I definitely wouldn't mind seeing more of Mulan. And some more Jennifer Morrison arm porn. Wow.

A lot of OUAT is ridiculous, but the fact that it's full of powerful female leads makes the show a "must see" in my TV viewing schedule.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Red Beauty! This show is so full of femmeslash ships it's a bit ridiculous. I love it!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking Aurora and Mulan NEED to hook up!