Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Zombies 2012

Right, so did everyone make it through the wrath of Sandy? I hope you stayed safe and warm and dry, my East Coast friends. My thoughts are with you all as you heal, rebuild and dry out. Between the apocalyptic storm coverage and post-apocalyptic media I’ve been watching lately (a steady diet of “The Walking Dead” with a light sprinkling of “Resident Evil” for taste), I’ve been thinking a lot about how to survive the end of the world. Note: Marathoning two seasons of “The Walking Dead” in a day will result in a restless night of mentally packing and repacking one’s zombie apocalypse survival kit. I’m sadly lacking a lot of things – like multi-gallon jugs of water and a machete. I enjoy post-apocalyptic entertainment, because it quite literally brings us back to our most base survival skills. But I also know in my heart of hearts I’d probably not be one of the rugged survivors. Not much use for a snarky writer type with terrible coordination and no idea how to hotwire a car. But, on the plus side, at least I know the kinds of things that will hasten our descent into total zombie apocalyptia. A week before the election and remember, there’s only one man running for president who calls funding for federal disaster relief “simply immoral.” So listen to our friend, Joss. Zombie Apocalypse 2012, anyone?

3 comments:

Carmen SanDiego said...

You may not survive the zombies but at least they'll have a treat with your brain. Hopefully one of them remembers to bring a nice Chianti.

Anonymous said...

'I’ve been thinking a lot about how to survive the end of the world.'

Thank God! I had been wondering when you’d finally get around to that Snarks.

'Note: Marathoning two seasons of “The Walking Dead” in a day will result in a restless night of mentally packing and repacking one’s zombie apocalypse survival kit. I’m sadly lacking a lot of things – like multi-gallon jugs of water and a machete.'

Hmm, not sure a machete is high on my list of post-apocalyptic survival essentials? I suppose it depends on where you are and who you may have to fend off...

Yes multi-gallon water containers are a good idea, but do you have in place three ways to purify your water darling???
Here Snarks, give this little video view - lots of handy pointers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXSV5LXVrqE

I had Fortnum’s put together a bespoke post-apocalyptic 12 month survival hamper for me. Why make do with the likes of freeze-dried ruddy spam and tinned prunes when you can just as easily survive on quails’ eggs in aspic, tinned pâté de foie gras, vacuum packed prosciutto cotto al tartufo etc.?

And there’s absolutely no need to have to drink ghastly iodine laced water when you have a wine cellar as well stocked as mine!

Sadly things are not quite so rosy on the personal protection front. Damn the UK nanny police state and its Stalinist gun laws!!!

And you can forget a machete; this is as much blade power as we are allowed to pack!

http://www.heinnie.com/-UK-Legal-Carry-Knives/Boker-Plus-UK-Legal-Knives/Boker-Plus-XS/p-641-765-6196/

Frankly darling, I could weep! That or stick a seasonal firework up the exhaust of the Prime Minster’s
Bentley! ;)

'I enjoy post-apocalyptic entertainment'

How frightfully perverse of you darling.

'because it quite literally brings us back to our most base survival skills. But I also know in my heart of hearts I’d probably not be one of the rugged survivors. Not much use for a snarky writer type with terrible coordination and no idea how to hotwire a car.'

Don’t talk rot Snarks! If you’ve become as good at the raconteuring as you have at the writing, of course there will be a place for you! Who else will be as capable of raising the spirits of the exhausted bison hunters and log cabin builders round the campfire of an evening?

'But, on the plus side, at least I know the kinds of things that will hasten our descent into total zombie apocalyptia.” A week before the election and remember, there’s only one man running for president who calls funding for federal disaster relief “simply immoral.” So listen to our friend, Joss. Zombie Apocalypse 2012, anyone?'

Riiiiight...

I’ll say this for you though Snarks, that was one of the most original, not to say eccentric party political broadcasts I have ever encountered! :)

But darling, have you STILL not got it?!

Obama = Romney !!!

Miliband = Cameron !!!

LEFT = RIGHT !!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF8ubb01FBA

‘We are through with the sham battle of politians and now we’re on our own!’

Here! Here!

PD

Yamilette said...

Love it! Joss Whedon can do no wrong in my eyes lately! :)