Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hail, Abby, full of grace

Dear Lesbian Jesus:

Thank you. Thank you for so many things. Starry nights. Cold beer. Baby otters. But today, thank you for the magnificence that is Abby Wambach. To be more specific, thank you for the magnificence that is Abby Wambach naked in the ESPN magazine Body Issue. Actually, to be even more specific – because I know you’re a details kind of lady (you created the otherworldly creature that is Tilda Swinton, clearly you sweat the small stuff) – thank you for the magnificence which is Abby Wambach’s naked thighs, shoulders, arms, back, abs, legs and ass in the ESPN magazine Body Issue. Oh, and her alternative lifestyle haircut is also pretty great, too.


So, to summarize, thanks for this. I mean, really, I cannot thank you enough. I mean, I really, really, really cannot thank you enough. I plan to say 10 Martina Navratilovas and five Ellen DeGenereses in your honor tonight before I go to bed. Well, right after I finish watching this video of Abby Wambach naked while shooting the Body Issue.



Your ever-loyal disciple,
Ms. Snarker

p.s. I know you also gave us a whole lot of other hot, muscley ladies naked in the Body Issue, too. Don’t worry, I’m going to thank you properly for those as well in a little bit.

20 comments:

Harkness said...

Amen.

;) babs said...

"...10 Martina Navratilovas and five Ellen DeGenereses..." - jeez, Snarker, you're killing me!!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Nice muscles, but sadly lacking in body hair.

Anonymous said...

not sexy at all,manly,give us Solo if you like soccer

Rosa said...

$50 that anon is a randomly lurking, only-periodically-checks-for-updates man

Rosa said...

Ps, Abby is HOT AS FAWK.

stalkingsarah said...

drooooooooooool

Adopt-a-mom said...

I'll take one to go please!! Keep Hope Solo, I don't care for her, looks or attitude. I'd rather have a nice helping of Abby! She looks amazing!!!

Swoon...

Burns the Fire said...

Hilarious post.. wondering about that perfect tan..? Keep up the great work!

sadie0777 said...

Whoever said that is manly Clearly needs to clean their own or borrow my spectacles... That is perfection in cleats and shorts... Ahem... or lack there of! That is arm and ab(by) porn at its BEST!

paulla said...

Can't decide if I'm objectifying or worshipping. Either way...whoa, girl!

L said...

ummm yes!!!! Oh and just because I can, I totally have met Abby, as well as had her arm around me,.....be jealous :)

KaySyrah said...

Just incredible! At 46 am I too old to put a poster of this photo in my bedroom?

Anonymous said...

Thighs are almost as good as Xena's in one against an army

AZinthesun said...

She is a fit, strong and beautifully toned woman to my eyes not manly.

Sheren Bamberger said...

Amen!
Maybe we'll get to see Megan Rapinoe or Amy Lepeilbet in the future? *prays hard*

SapphicSirens said...

I must say, as beautiful as she is, your brilliant writting has amused us to our very core. I'm trying to figure out how to "follow" you now. All our best from Alabama.

shuber1 said...

I think a lot of people missed the point..I liked the woman because she said it right..her body is not the body most women have and she rightly said that everyone should be happy with their bodies..they are all beautiful...wouldn't mind the shoot but I about 40 years too old and a swimmer...and i hear the same thing from people and ..from more beautiful people than I. Enjoy your body and keep it healthy!

egghead said...

I want this picture, this image posterized and on the ceiling above my bed immediately. :)

And can I hear an amen.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy. Really, look how happy I am
:D