Dear Lesbian Jesus:
Thank you. Thank you for so many things. Starry nights. Cold beer. Baby otters. But today, thank you for the magnificence that is Abby Wambach. To be more specific, thank you for the magnificence that is Abby Wambach naked in the ESPN magazine Body Issue. Actually, to be even more specific – because I know you’re a details kind of lady (you created the otherworldly creature that is Tilda Swinton, clearly you sweat the small stuff) – thank you for the magnificence which is Abby Wambach’s naked thighs, shoulders, arms, back, abs, legs and ass in the ESPN magazine Body Issue. Oh, and her alternative lifestyle haircut is also pretty great, too.
So, to summarize, thanks for this. I mean, really, I cannot thank you enough. I mean, I really, really, really cannot thank you enough. I plan to say 10 Martina Navratilovas and five Ellen DeGenereses in your honor tonight before I go to bed. Well, right after I finish watching this video of Abby Wambach naked while shooting the Body Issue.
Your ever-loyal disciple,
p.s. I know you also gave us a whole lot of other hot, muscley ladies naked in the Body Issue, too. Don’t worry, I’m going to thank you properly for those as well in a little bit.