Monday, March 26, 2012

Bullseye, ladies

Archery is hot. I mean, if the Girl on Fire does it, you know it’s got to be hot. But “The Hunger Games” is not the first nor more than likely the last film to bring us female heroines brandishing bows and arrows. Plenty of cinematic and real-life heroines have taken aim with one of mankind’s oldest weapons. And I’ll tell you a little secret about myself, I loved archery growing up. I didn’t do it a lot because I lived in town and my parents had this thing about not accidentally shooting the neighbors and all. But I went to a summer camp a few years in a row and my absolute favorite activity was archery. Something about drawing back that string and feeling the bow flex mixed power, grace and physics in an intoxicating way. I also liked the crisp thump sounds the arrow made as it hit its hay target. So here are a few other ladyies of the longbow to take their place beside Katniss Everdeen.

Keira KnightleyShe picked up a bow as Guinevere in “King Arthur.” I’m not sure how a bare midriff helped her aim, but everyone has her own method I suppose.

Natalie PortmanJust to keep the “Is it Natalie or Keira” confusion going, she did her own movie as bow-and-arrow wielding warrior in “Your Highness.”

Lena HeadeyI’m thinking up a zany crossover movie where Lena’s flower girl Luce from “Imagine Me & You” and huntress Angelika from “The Brothers Grimm” go on a road trip and to rescue fairy tale characters and kiss pretty girls. Fine, admittedly I haven’t thought it through very much.

Anna PopplewellI really loved the “Chronicles of Narnia” growing up, but it wasn’t exactly brimming with strong female heroines. Thank heavens for Susan Pevensie and her trusty bow and arrow.

Jessica Biel“Blade Trinity” was not a good movie. But it did introduce us to Jessica Biel’s magnificent shoulder muscles. And for that the universe will forever be grateful.

Jennifer Garner“Elektra” was not a good movie either. And not even seeing Jennifer prance around in a crime-fighting wardrobe made by Victoria’s Secret could make me thank the universe for it.

Jennifer LawrenceJennifer trained with a four-time Olympian and arching champion for her role in “The Hunger Games.” But I don’t think that’s why all the showings I wanted to go to were sold out this weekend.

Stana KaticDid you know besides speaking like half a dozen languages she also enjoys flamenco, falconry and a little archery on the side? Don’t worry, PETA, I don’t think she practices her archery and falconry at the same time.

Geena DavisGeena is another real-live archer, who even tried out for the 2000 Olympics team. She didn’t make the team, but that’s OK because she already has some gold hardware named Oscar at home.

Lucy LiuI have no idea why she’s using a bow and arrow while wearing this jaunty little outfit, but I entirely approve.

Christina HendricksLikewise, I have no idea why Christina is posing seductively in a spiked leather jacket with a bow and arrows. But, again, not complaining.

Princess MeridaI dork out so hard when I think about this movie, you guys. I am so ready to be “Brave.”

14 comments:

Eva @View from the Hillside said...

This is just too distracting on a Monday morning!

Kumiko Mae said...

This is amazing! thoroughly enjoyed this post! ive seen some of the movies you shared here but was unable to really list them and collate them as you have done perfectly well! :D thanks!

Janet Marie said...

Stana Katic is like near perfection in my book. Nose job and all. She's bloody brilliant, on and of my TV screen. Speaking of which, thank god its Monday

Amy said...

This is like basically my favourite post on your entire blog. Women + archery = hot. What can ever beat that? ("Dare I say, not even books?" she whispered, bracing for the backlash.)

My said...

Check-out the interviews of jennifer Lawrencw on talkshows. Really funny.

Jody said...

:::sigh:::

Proof, as if any is needed, that Lena Headey fits perfectly into any hot category one could come up with.

Thanks for the Monday morning pick-me-up!

ndgogrl21 said...

You forgot Mira(Katrina Law) in Spartacus: Vengeance on Starz!

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjIzMjA2MDA3NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDM4MzU1Nw@@._V1._SX640_SY960_.jpg

ndgogrl21 said...

and http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNTg0ODI1Mzk4MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzI4MzU1Nw@@._V1._SX640_SY427_.jpg

Jojo said...

Not gonna lie, I saw The Hunger Games yesterday, and I am a little embarrassed by how distracted I was by how HOT Jennifer Lawrence is... Like seriously, good thing I read the books so I knew what was going on...

Anonymous said...

Jennifer Lawrence is by far the best actress of this post,easy...did you choose the most untalented ,dorothy?

Anonymous said...

Stana Katic,meh......even if so gay

Sapphist Gazetteer said...

You are so, so wrong about "Elektra." Good movie.

maya said...

@Janet Marie Stana Katic had a nose job?! Well, no wonder her face looks kind of...odd. Beautiful, but...y'know...it makes sense now. I like that woman can do what they like w/ their bodies, I just don't like that Hollywood pressures women to do that, e.g. Kathy Griffin's first nose job (and countless others).

yodelmachine said...

it was some kind of fashion promo thing for the beijing olympics or harpers or something that lucy liu did: http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/fashion-articles/lucy-liu-fashion-olympics-0808#slide-5