Wednesday, November 03, 2010

One size fits none

Last week, as I wrote my response to the Marie Claire controversy, I knew someone would mention all the pictures of slim women on my site. I knew this because I’ve been doing this a long time and have developed a sixth sense about what kind of comments I am likely to receive. I had considered addressing it in the post, but ultimately thought that would take away from my main message which was that people deserve to be happy and respected, no matter their perceived differences. Heavy, thin, gay, straight – we’re all human and shouldn’t be shamed for the simple act of existing.

Now, it’s also true, I do post pictures of mostly slim women. Part of this is symptomatic of my chosen topic: the entertainment industry. There just aren’t that many women in Hollywood who are larger than a Size 0. The vast majority of famous women in Hollywood are conventionally thin. And unless I want to write about Queen Latifah, Nikki Blonsky, Gabourey Sidibe and Camryn Manheim every day, my options are limited. Even the women who sometimes get lumped in with the “plus-size” category aren’t really all that plus, like Sara Ramirez, America Ferrera and Christina Hendricks.

But this isn’t to say I shouldn’t do better. I should. I try not to glorify or perpetuate the unhealthy – in either direction. I don’t regularly post photos of models, because I think most are beyond unrealistic looking. (But not all, and those I celebrate to the fullest.) I don’t regularly post overly Photoshopped pictures, because there’s nothing realistic at all about the overuse of the liquefy tool. (I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate over Photoshopping. For real.)

Which brings us back to the topic of size and what I post on my site. I actually do think about inclusiveness, be it size or race or left handedness, a lot. A lot, a lot. But it’s not always that easy. I post about what I watch and enjoy because, well, it’s my site. But not all the TV/movies/music I watch and enjoy includes women of varying sizes. “30 Rock” – maybe Sherri Shepherd, but she’s on maybe twice a year. “Glee” – Amber Riley who is perpetually second fiddle of Lea Michele. “Rizzoli & Isles” – those two could fit on a twin-size bed with room to spare, trust me, I’ve imagined it. “Buffy” – Xander got a little chunky in the later seasons. “The Vampire Diaries” – nada, blood must be slimming.

I used to write about America Ferrera more often, but then “Ugly Betty” got bad and now it’s off the air. I write about Queen Latifah sometimes but closet organizing gets old after a while. And then, it can start to feel like tokenism. I’ve got to throw the Queen into this post, I’ve got to add Gabby to that post. Like I said, it isn’t always easy.

Also, do you know how hard it is to find pictures of some of these ladies in tank tops? The one, one, I’ve ever been able to find of Sara Ramirez I posted.

I guess this is all just a long, rambly way of saying – I do care and I do try. I want to be representative and I want to be inclusive. But I also write about a sliver of our popular culture that tends to be show women who look like a sliver. So trust me when I tell you, my love for women is not one size fits all.

p.s. Apologies to those expecting a post on the midterm elections today. I just couldn’t, it is too – well – ugh.

17 comments:

madmags said...

Thanks for loving me just the way I am ( almost very thin - in my mind ). I think that is how we all feel about you as well. Have a lovely, happy day - unless you have made other plans. :-)

Norma Desmond said...

Well said, Ms. Snarker, well said. (It's a crime there aren't more pictures of Ms. Ramirez in a tank top out there...)

Anonymous said...

I love how all the people who jumped on you for supposedly being biased against heavier woman haven't bothered to comment on this post too. It's like they were waiting for you to "mess up" just so they could give you a lecture in order to feel better about themselves. You addressed the issue here wonderfully, keeping a mature and proper composure. Clearly, I'm having some trouble doing that myself. It just gets to me when people attack someone unjustly, only to then turn a blind eye when said person actually addresses the issue. Anyway, great post today. I love your open mindedness and your insight.

Anonymous said...

Well said, indeed. I do have to point out, though, that I think it's a myth that the lesbian community is size blind. Granted, we as a "team" do seem more accepting of virtually all body-types (as long as they like the ladies), but I'm not sure we deserve so much credit. As an attractive but (only just) plus-sized lady myself, some of the cruelest comments I've gotten have come from lesbians, especially the younger generation. Go figure (sic).

Anonymous said...

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http://www.afterellen.com/TV/2010/10/israel-will-host-a-lesbian-couple-on-its-version-of-dancing-with-the-stars

The show started yesterday, it was so exciting - and for you, so far away from us, there's always youtube! enjoy, hope you can write something about it...!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwHIksas6U0

Anonymous said...

So will anyone else admit that SIZE does matter. -- I love strong women.
I love the picture you've posted. Those beautiful curvy women are incredibly sexy. Strong legs and full hips literally make me swoon.

I am so very lucky to love an athletic women with sweeping curves and supple body. When she flips me over using just her legs, I am giddy.

That picture has just made me silly. Which is why I shall remain anonymous...

Anonymous said...

Cheer up Dorothy. we love your blog. me thinks you are a little depressed about election night. i read the president's post election remarks and he is somber just like you. but the glass is half full - we still have the Senate no matter what the pundits say about a 'slim margin' a win is a win. And lgbt candidates made strides too! and that pesky anti enviroment vote failed in calif. the glass is indeed half full! consider this the jumpstart to your post election recovery - fat women rock, skinny women rock, your blog rocks!

MizM said...

Well, you COULD bump up the representation of left-handers a bit, but your overall efforts are nonetheless appreciated. I'll help you out with the lefties -- the divine ET: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10235/1081722-60.stm

Patricia said...

IMHO one thing is one thing and another thing is another thing (so obvious??). Trying do mix one/another is a way to justify lack of stronger arguments. Your later post was right to the point, because you - as I fell from all your work in the blog - stands for what you find important and overall ethical. People who can´t see this... are just picking a fight.

Cat said...

Dorothy! I know you do care a lot about privilege and inclusiveness and all that stuff a lot of people run a mile from, and I have always really appreciated it. It gives depth to everything you write here and it makes me want to go for a drink with you someday. Keep on keepin' on.

Becca said...

Did you really get complaints? I didn't read the comments, but I can't imagine. I never really thought of the pics that you post as sizist, or anything really but beautiful girls. There are also sites that I go to that post pictures of beautiful large ladies, and I enjoy them too. Don't change a thing. I love your site the way it is...

alice said...

Love the pic! And very fair point about there being a real dearth of women in pop culture who deviate from a pretty narrow range of body types. While we've got a pretty sizeable sample of folks who are thin (both from a natural skinniness and, sadly, from eating disorders), we have very, very few famous ladies who are full on 'plus size,' and that makes showcasing that kind of diversity harder.

The only part of your post I disagree with (or am somewhat confused by) is your comment about not wanting to 'glorify the unhealthy' - are you equating being very heavy with being unhealthy? If so, I have to disagree - we don't know what Gabourey Sidibe's blood pressure is any more than we know Amanda Seyfreid's.

Regardless, one of the many things I love about your blog is that you demonstrate concern rather than snark when wanting to talk about folks like Lindsay Lohan when she was obviously dealing with substance abuse. That kind of not-glorifying is something I'll always support.

Anonymous said...

The only part of your post I disagree with (or am somewhat confused by) is your comment about not wanting to 'glorify the unhealthy' - are you equating being very heavy with being unhealthy? If so, I have to disagree - we don't know what Gabourey Sidibe's blood pressure is any more than we know Amanda Seyfreid's.

I have to disagree with you here. While it is true that some overweight women can definitely still be healthy, if someone is obese, especially morbidly obese (BMI of 40 or greater, or 100lbs overweight)then they are putting themselves at risk for very serious health problems. We don't know what Gabby's blood pressure is compared to Amanda's, but we can certainly make an educated guess that it's higher. Even if it isn't there are plenty of other risk factors that go along with being obese; high cholesterol, breathing problems and an increase risk for cancers (colon, breast and kidney to name a few.)

I value the notion of embracing all different types of women, and found that Marie Claire article appalling. However, that doesn't mean we can just ignore the fact that being obese (just like smoking) is bad for a person's health. It isn't offensive, it's just the truth.

That being said, I thought this was a great article, Ms. Snarker. All the people who were criticizing you clearly hadn't spent much time reading your blog over the years. If they had, they'd know that you value diversity highly.

Anonymous said...

Bah, the first part of the above comment was directed @alice. Should've clarified.

Anonymous said...

What a load of pretentious lesbianism. This site, which I read and enjoy, is about as shallow and vapid as it gets. That's why I enjoy it. Let's not shore ourselves up behind our levees of righteous indignation here. Who are you all kidding? So, yeah, you got your token Mercedes Jones in there. Jolly good. Pat yourself on the back for the year Dorothy.

It's plain moronic of you all to sway in here with this "oh, we're all so loving" bull crud. It's self delusional to put on this pretense that you find morbidly obese people attractive in any way. Obese people are kind of yucky, not sexy. It's overlooking the obvious to ignore that we are visually (societally), if not biologically programmed to find certain characteristics attractive. Looking at a big, huge, flabby body makes most of us feel repulsed and sorry for a person, not inflamed with desire. It's foolish to pretend otherwise. Nobody comes here because they have any even remote interest in looking at fat chicks. We come to see sexy women in tank tops, and sexy, fat ain't!

I'm not suggesting everyone jump on a "bash fattie" bandwagon. Just be honest with yourselves. The only people posting here proclaiming fat is beautiful are probably overweight women.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to point out that NONE of the women in that picture even approach fat. They're sexily curvy, not fat. Just because the bulk of Hollywood women look like lollipops with their big heads on toothpick bodies doesn't mean our eyes are warped to appreciating sexy curves. In fact, I think most of us find those anexorexic toothpicks to be fairly repugnant. But these women in the picture are far from fat. They have beautiful, curvy bodies most of us would love to have (in more ways than one).

vrgriffith said...

Well said!