Friday, September 26, 2008

My Weekend Crush

While she doesn’t make me want to, say, strangle an unsuspecting mountain ox with my bare hands, Olivia Wilde is all kinds of sexy. In fact, she is almost too sexy. And, as long as we’re being perfectly honest, she was the wrong kind of sexy for me as a blonde. Not that there is anything wrong with blondes. Far from it. Still Olivia, with her alpine bone structure and expertly arched eyebrows, was just too perfect as a blonde. Like fresh from the pages of FHM perfect. And that's not my kind of perfect. But as a brunette, woo doggy, now we’re talking. Though I guess dark hair and blue eyes have always been a weakness of mine. I blame Wonder Woman Lynda Carter. It helps, too, in Olivia’s case that she has played gay for our pleasure not once but twice. First as Alex on “The O.C.” and now as Thirteen on “House.” It is as the enigmatic Thirteen where I really noticed Olivia as more than just a pretty face. Beautiful. Mysterious. Bisexual. Damaged. Come to mama. On second thought, maybe that mountain ox should be worried after all. Happy weekend, all.

11 comments:

The Gentleman said...

Methinks that mountain oxs are clearly on the verge of quickly becoming an endangered species...

BTW if you are a Thirteen fan go read what Ausiello has to say about the upcoming House's episodes
http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2008/09/ask-ausiello--3.html

Anonymous said...

dear ms. snarker,
as I am living in an alpine country, wtf is an alpine bone structure?

;)) babs

Lezlie Mac said...

Dear Dorothy,
as I am living in a non alpine country, wtf is a mountain ox?

I like Thirteen, but Wilde's magic is wasted on me, both brunette and blonde one...I must be blind

Julie said...

She looks a little cold to me....something about the eyes! Maybe she just needs to find the right woman!

long beach kelster said...

mmm...angels....

Hypatia said...

I toootally agree. As a blond, she didn't do anything for me. She just looked so conventional/boring. Now I think she's absolutely gorgeous. It's amazing how something as silly as hair color can completely change your perception.

Sarah in Chicago said...

Wow, I knew she was beautiful, but she's etherically stunning ... incredible.

Sublimefemme said...

For the record, my very favorite part of this piece is the phrase "alpine bone structure," which suggests to me a sculptural beauty, distant and a bit chilly.
Am I on the right track?


@ hypatia: you must have a naturally gorgeous hair color, because, for those of us who have to work to attain what nature did not supply, hair color is almost a matter of life and death.

(I think I need to write a post about this!)

TheWeyrd1 said...

mmmmm...nice...mmmmm

Ordy said...

She is just too perfect looking with either hair color. Not that I am complaining but jeezus I would feel like I was polluting her air if I was even within 10 miles of her.

I agree w/ sublimefemme's comment about natural haircolor. I have that horrible not light/dark enough uncolor hair.

Julie said...

Guess I'm in the minority here!