Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Rose seems to be another example of body image gone terribly wrong. After “Scream” and “Jawbreaker” made her a MTV-ready starlet, Rose became famous for almost saying “I do” to the anti-Christ and wearing a dress made of leftover thread. But then “Charmed” came along and for several years she was happily employed and looking good -- ever-changing, but good. See: Now Rose is set to make a splash on the big screen again in the Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez horror double-feature extravaganza “Grindhouse.” And this, it seems, is where things started to unravel. The film could be the break back in the 33-year-old actress has been looking for since she left TV. So, in preparation, she appear to have lost a considerable amount of weight and gotten a considerable amount of plastic surgery. And the results, well, see for yourself:
Stop the insanity, people. Stop it now. Certainly beauty takes work, but it can also be overworked. And, in some cases, worked to death. Ladies, can we take a stand and agree that the rules of beauty should always follow the philosophy, “First, do no harm.”
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
After writing Monday’s Oscar post, I realized I was terribly remiss in omitting the lovely Penelope Cruz. What was I thinking? OK, sure, she seemed to have pelted Snuffleupagus to make the bottom of her dress, but otherwise she looked fabulous. And then, I looked to her left. Hello, double vision. Penelope brought her younger sister Monica as her date and let me just say the hottie gene is strong in that family. Of course, this required more research and what I found further fueled my ham-in-that-sister-sandwich fantasy. Yes, it’s wrong. But it looks so right.
Monday, February 26, 2007
5:37 PM: Ellen emerges wearing a red, velvet tuxedo. She then quips in her monologue: “If there weren't blacks, Jews or gays, there would be no Oscars.” 6:26 PM: A dance troupe will be interpreting the best picture nominees, among others, through the night. That’s pretty gay.
6:33 PM: Melissa Etheridge sings her nominated song “I Need to Wake Up,” which is perfect since the Randy Newman/James Taylor number before put me into a coma.
6:35 PM: Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio talk about the “Green Oscars.” I just thought the gay boys might appreciate a shot of Leo. And, for the bears out there, Al. 7:00 PM: Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt come out to present holding hands. My naughty fantasies now come with real, live visuals. Then, they give the costume design award to a lady wearing a suit and little tie. She thanks her husband, but it’s too late and she has now been added to a new fantasy sequence. 7:10 PM: Ellen works the crowd in a white tux. Gets Steven Spielberg to take a picture of her and Clint Eastwood for her Myspace page, thus proving that the internet is - indeed - gay.
7:29 PM: Cate Blanchett and Clive Owen come out, finally giving gay men and women a presenting duo they can enjoy equally. 8:20 PM: Jennifer Hudson wins for Dreamgirls. I know she’s not gay, but she was in a musical and I’m happy for her.
8:30 PM: Queen Latifah and John Travolta present Melissa the Best Song Oscar. I’ll let you decide how many in that trio are gay… Melissa kisses Tammy on the way up and then thanks her and their four children in her terrific speech: “Wow, that feels as good as you think it does.” It feels good for us, too, Melissa. 8:40 PM: Kate Winslet. Just Kate Winslet, le sigh. 8:45 PM: Jodie Foster introduces the In Memoriam segment. Oh Jodie, Jodie. Come out, honey. Everybody knows. 8:50 PM: Ellen changes into a blue tuxedo. She has now worn red, white and blue suits. She’s an All-American girl, get it?
8:55 PM: Helen Mirren is the queen of the Oscars. My love for her is unending. She can now drop her fries.9:15 PM: A drop-dead sexy Diane Keaton comes out with a drop-dead scary Jack Nicholson and gives Marty his Oscar. I’m happy for Marty, but I want to see more Diane. A lot more.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
They’re baaaack. As promised, Pre-L returns. OK, OK, hold your applause. Seriously, simmer down now. I’m just your faithful servant, here to bring you hot, sweaty pre-cap action. Enjoy.
1) For a second, I think Jenny is dead. That’s one great second.
2) Bette and Tina share a moment. It’s sweet. Seriously. 3) Max gets an intern, who dances and computers. Yeah, right.
4) Jodi has a date. Uh-oh.5) Shane and Paige love a classic American car. 6) Kit doesn’t do bareback. Smart girl. 7) Helena shows Catherine the money. Hello paper cuts. 8) We learn about the dangers of knee-jerk liberal bullshit. And creepy agents. And T-Shirt slogan. Class dismissed.9) Alice and Tasha are Carville and Matalin. It’s fucking annoying. Then, it’s fucking hot.10) For a show about lesbians, there are an awful lot of daddy issues going on. I’m just saying.
New Guestbian Count: 1
[Simone Bailly as Grace the intern]
Friday, February 23, 2007
Well, apparently, counting their money. Suze estimates the couple has a net worth of about $25 million. The author, TV host and motivational speaker said in the interview that she is frustrated that she can’t marry her partner and angered by the country’s unjust inheritance laws for gays and lesbians.
“It's killing me that upon my death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes. Or vice versa.”
I don’t know why, but this news surprised me. I guess because she is so ubiquitous, I never really considered Suze’s sexuality. Mostly I just wanted to change the channel every time she came on for shame of not having my own personal finances in order. But, now that I look at her carefully, Suze certainly has the hair for it. And, what appears to be a leather fetish. With her net worth and global domination, Suze is now the epitome of the power dyke.
Not this year. This year I feel a vested interest. Why? Well, Ellen of course. Ms. DeGeneres will walk into the history books as the first out gay celebrity to host the esteemed award show. Sure, she has hosted the Grammys and Emmys, but the Oscars are different. The Academy Awards represent the best the entertainment industry has to offer. Hosting the show is an honor for Ellen and a nod of acceptance for all of us. While she may not wave the pride flag as feverishly as some would like, Ellen is still very much family. To have her beam into living rooms across the country and the world as the face of the awards, well, that’s something to feel proud about. So, this Sunday, I can’t wait to root, root, root for the home team. Go Ellen, go team!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
But, really, did you have to go this far? Did you have to recreate your famed SI cover from a decade ago under the guise of a celebration of Black History Month? Does another picture of you in a bikini really advance the cause of black Americans? Uh, no. What it does do is scream, “Hey, I’m not fat! Look, I’m not fat!” Though, if that was your not-so-secret agenda, why would you go ape shit with the Photoshop? Real torsos have shadow, depth and highlights. You know, like the one on the left. Listen, if I tell you you’re still pretty will you, please, put some clothes on.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
But Tori’s willingness to be provocative and talk about the things most people would rather not keeps her close to my heart. Rape, miscarriage, prostitution, masturbation. It’s a veritable who’s who of awkward dinnertime conversation. So, in typical Tori fashion, she appears to be back at the button pushing with her new album, “American Doll Posse,” due out May 1. A promo shot was released yesterday (click above to enlarge). With a bible in her right hand, “shame” scrawled on her left hand and blood running down her leg, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that she has a thing or two to say about the church. I can’t wait.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
First, she appeared with David Letterman in a Super Bowl spot. Now she is appearing on a rival talk show. Has Oprah Winfrey just rewritten the rules of the universe? Is this still Earth? Yes, it’s true. Oprah, the queen of all media and possibly the galaxy, will appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Thursday. I have to say, Oprah and Ellen both look fantastic in the above teaser clip. Oprah even gets down with her bad self doing a little walk-on boogie. I may have to sneak away to find a TV Thursday afternoon. The promo below is pretty cute, too. Though, perhaps Rosie was right all along when she called O “a little gay.” I mean, seriously, singing “I Will Survive” on a road trip? Gay. And doing jazz hands while singing “I Will Survive”? Totally gay.
Monday, February 19, 2007
This lengthy and unsolicited mediation on my hair brings me to my point. Britney Spears and her newly-shaved head makes me sad. While I understand the urge, her very public shearing seems to be both an act of rebellion and a shedding of identity. I try not to blog too much about the paparazzi princesses - Paris, Lindsay, Britney, Nicole, et al. I do so mainly because I think they’re uninteresting and unimportant. I find no joy in yet another shot of some sad person drunk/naked/covered in her own sick.
But Britney’s recent downward spiral complete with photos and video and her clipped locks for sale on eBay screams out for commentary. And mine is this: People who love Britney Spears, please help her. While I’ve never met the woman and am in no way privy to the inner workings of her soul, I can tell you that shaving your head in some little salon in Tarzana in full view of the cameras is a probably cry for help. So, someone, help her.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Well shoot. The screeners for the second half of the season have been slow in coming, so no Pre-L this week. My apologies. Fear not, I have been assured that they will arrive next week which means my little pre-caps will return as scheduled next Saturday. For now, enjoy a few of my favorite screencaps from the first half of the season. Oh, the memories.
When Alpha Bette AttacksWhen Jodi Cops a Feel When Shane Strikes Pose When Jenny Rolls Her Eyes at Herself So We Don’t Have To When Alice, Oh Whatever, It’s Alice
Friday, February 16, 2007
“You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States.”
Sure he has since apologized and been banned by the NBA*, but the damage was done.
Then, while watching “Ugly Betty,” I started to feel better. A lot better. Now my love for all things Bettylicious is well documented and unwavering. Last night it became transcendent. For all its camp and craziness, the show is really about heart. And, in a subtle way, changing people’s hearts and minds.
I can’t think of another primetime show right now that more deftly and effectively addresses gay issues. In last night’s episode, the parallel storylines of transgendered Alexis’ rejection and future-gay Justin’s acceptance were nothing short of magnificent. This is how change happens. It takes seeing someone you care about - even if only a fictional character - being hated or loved for who she or he is to challenge a person’s beliefs.
To quote Alexis: “People are kind of awful.” True, but sometimes they might just catch you off guard in a good way. When Justin’s father stood up for him finally, my God, I teared up. I really did. Can “Ugly Betty” save the world? No, of course not. But it can make it just a little bit better. Watch it for yourself and feel just a little better about the world, too.
*NOTE: For the record, I in no way forgive Hardaway. And yes I realize it was a half-ass apology and yes I realize the NBA banned him only from All-Star Weekend. I was trying to be brief since I linked to the full story. That man is a bigot without remorse and there is no excuse for that. Period. End of story.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
- Jennifer didn’t suggest Marlee for the role of Jodi because “they don’t listen to anything I have to say.” Well, that explains the Bette/Tina storyline meltdown.
- Jennifer said sex scenes with a friend are not so sexy. “Oh, it’s horrible. We laugh hysterically the whole time. It’s horrible, it’s horrible. I try to be professional, and she looks at me and gives me one little look of mischief and we just lose it, and it takes forever to shoot.” Suuure, that’s why it takes “forever.”
- Marlee asked if Jodi could be named after a lesbian friend of her’s who passed away. “I thought it would be nice to honor her, and they were more than open to it. Most television series would never do that.”
- Marlee said Kristanna’s comments about the L Word being “the most difficult cast” she had ever worked with were based around her problems with a specific cast member. “I’m sorry she expressed her feelings to an interviewer, when it was an experience she had on a one-to-one basis with someone. It’s a great show, and for me it was a wonderful experience.” So there, meow.
Monday, February 12, 2007
*Yes, that is indeed Scarlett. Unless, of course, this imposter fooled the Recording Academy, the Grammy announcer and Don Henley. In which case, damn, she is good.