Monday, June 04, 2007

Host this

My plan was to do another live(-ish) blog, a la the Oscars post, about the MTV Movie Awards, but I was so stunned by Sarah Silverman’s spectacularly enormous brass cojones in her opening monologue that I was unable to type for about 15 minutes as I had to both pick up and reattach my jaw from where it fell onto the floor. Seriously. I mean, Paris was sitting RIGHT THERE. That, my friends, is the definition of ballsy.

So in lieu of the live blog, I’m going to give you the three moments that really mattered. The rest was pretty much a two-hour commercial for the Transformers movie and Orbit gum.

1. It only took Sarah 4 minutes to rip on “300,” “Spider-Man 3,” the MTV Movie Awards producers, Jack Nicholson, every actress Jack Nicholson has ever slept with, “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,“ Cisco Adler’s balls, the paparazzi, famous vaginas, Tobey Maguire, Lindsay Lohan, Alec Baldwin and Paris Hilton. The latter was…well, just watch. (Viacom hates YouTubers, so you'll have to watch it HERE now.)

(p.s. I know I shouldn't have, but I felt the teeniest, tiniest bit sorry for Paris as she squirmed in her seat, particularly because later that night she surrendered herself to authorities to begin her jail sentence. You know all that clapping and cheering is going to be ringing in her ears all 23 days. Ouch.*)

2. Sarah and Jessica Biel showed super-human restraint while teasing millions of horny men and lesbians with their up-close-and-personal moment. Hot girls don’t kiss; Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen do kiss. Has the world gone mad? (Again, blame Viacom...See it HERE instead.)3. Amy Winehouse. That’s all.


*Well, there goes the last vestiges of my pity for her, now that her 23-days turned into about 75-hours.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought that was kind of harsh and not so funny. Pennis-looking prison bars that she might hurt her teeth on?! Har har

ravaj said...

that's what comedy is these days - how close to the edge you can get. silverman's sister is a rabbi, y'know. i wonder what dinner-table conversation is like when they get together.

ps sasha b-c and award speeches ... makes me proud to be a bit british!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more with you...these were the best 3 moments of the show!ps:i wonder if Paris ever asks herself why is it that people hate her so much?(and it's not the money,all the "celebrities"have lots of them)

Anonymous said...

Dorothy, What do you really think of Sarah Silverman - she shocks me but doesn't make me laugh -what about you? Is she making social commentary or is she just plain mean?

Leila said...

fuck Sarah Silverman. who liked the penis/jail joke? all the raunchy guys in the audience. who felt uncomfortable? paris hilton. easy shot, easy points. fuck sarah silverman.

Anonymous said...

Agree with Leila, the Paris Hilton joke was a VERY CHEAP SHOT.

I don't like Paris Hilton, but WTF?? Kicking someone when they're obviously down? That doesn't take balls...that just reflects badly on Sarah.

My scepticism about her has just gone up a notch.

MetaSin Girl said...

Ok, since everyone else here has pulled out all the stops:

I could give a flying fuck if Paris Hilton’s feelings were hurt. She’s a waste of skin and a blight on the planet. Cheap jokes at her expense, suck - I agree. Funny Sarah Silverman jokes at her expense? Yes, please!


@ravaj – what I wouldn’t give to be at one of their family dinners...

Plush said...

I think it is funny. The ability to laugh at yourself is a mature, adult trait. She made a sex video that she then used to catapult her fame and then is suprised when people joke about it. Paris is lucky she didn't kill anyone so a few jokes and a few days in jail is nothing. Who goes out to a big party, award show when they are going to jail the next day? It shows how little she cares.

I love Sarah Silverman and how close she blurs the line between comedy and uncomfortable. Obviously mtv knows her comedy and knew she would be controversial, they got what they wanted.

slacker said...

That was funny! Go, Sarah, go!

Sympathy? For a drunk driver who's shown no appreciation for why she should follow traffic laws? Hardly! If she'd show one iota of understanding of why what she did was wrong, maybe I could dredge up some sympathy. As for now, nope. Got none.

Anonymous said...

"that's what counts as comedy these days." i agree: they try to have it both ways, especially around issues of difference. they speak in the most hateful ways about different groups (e.g., Silverman on women and black people) but then say they are doing this in a progressive way (and, also, if you had weren't so defensive, you'd find it funny). There's a reason why -- at a time when so many female comics are a blip on the radar -- she's found success on the Comedy Channel speaking to white men.

liz said...

I thought it would've been more enjoyable if the Paris joke was FUNNY. I mean, technically, the visual in your head just doesn't work. We should all expect more from someone with their own show and writers. There are plenty of good Paris-in-jail jokes waiting to be told, but that definitely was not one of them.

Anonymous said...

You know what's really funny about that joke? That you people are actually giving a crap about Hilton (or pretending to)! Who was humiliated? She was. Who should be? SHE SHOULD! What's wrong with the freaking joke, you bloody morons?? Too bad Hilton didn't start to cry right there. Who cares if she's oh-so-hurt when she's such a waste of air, DNA, clothing and media coverage?? You freakin prues should give the rest of us, normal mankind, a big fat break.

Alex said...

to Liz and Anynomous...ur both fucking idiots. Go stare at your lindsay lohan poster and spray ur self with Paris's cheap/shit-stench perfume. Paris is a fucking waste of space/air/breath/skin etc..u cant see a visual? how about paris trying to blow the bars on her cell. anyone that makes fun of that idiot cum dumpster should get a gold medal.
kudos ms silverman!

Anonymous said...

Paris deserves those jokes and much more. This is the same girl who used the N-word, used anti-semetic words as well and nothing has been made of that. She trashes people who make millions for being 'poor'. She is a spoiled, selfish, piece of trash who is useless to humanity. She doesn't seem to have upset feelings when she uses her own porn tape to propagate her career, but when the joke is on her, she's a little bitch about it.