Thursday, March 22, 2007

Fergie gets lesbalicious

Fergie is a lesbian. No -- wait, wait -- that came out wrong. Fergie is playing a lesbian in the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez horror double feature “Grindhouse.” Whew, for a minute I was genuinely alarmed. As much as I like to throw a few Black Eyed Peas into the mix and (given the right amount of alcohol) will dance to some Fergalicious, Fergie the person does nothing for me. Nada. Zilch. Her face reminds me of a tomato, and that’s being somewhat uncharitable to the produce. (Oh, snap!) Yes, yes, I know that was mean. But her hyper-sexualized, hyper-hootchie image has the same effect on me as The Pussycat Dolls. Essentially, a shoulder shrug and an apathetic “Is that all there is?” Still, for what it’s worth, Stacy Ferguson has a small, but lesbian role in the new zombie/slasher exploitation extravaganza (thanks for the heads up, Scribe). As Fergie told Maxim, “Robert asked me if I had a problem playing a lesbian, and I was like, ‘Hell, no!’” If only Robert had asked me if I had a problem with Fergie playing a lesbian. Because I would have been like, “Hell, yes!”

4 comments:

Ashley Plath said...

Oh fook! I don't like Fergie, but does this mean lesbians are supposed to be mainstream 'cool' again? Will all the starlets trim their fingernails and let their bushes grow back? btw--did you see Heather's "Next Pussycat Doll" rant over at Salon? Classic.

LN James said...

The only thing I know about Fergie is that she pees her pants. Incontinence in the elderly is no laughing matter, but when a 39 year old woman wets herself on stage in front of thousands, I have to wonder if she's, you know, a little...kinky. Nothing wrong with that of course, but is that what you really want people thinking about you when you're trying to get all "fergalicious" and whatnot? I don't know..kids these days.

Just sayin' I wouldn't trust her as my euchre partner...I'm not convinced she can act.

Rain said...

Oh dear,I thought you were talking about Fergie... you know, the other one...(Think of England.)

This must mean I am getting old...

Anonymous said...

Sure she looks bad in some pictures, but so do all of you who posted negative comments about her... Until you know her and until she diss' on you, you really have no right to judge her.. In my opinion she is one of the most beautiful people... Stop trying to spread your negativity and for God sakes stop being so picky... If you turned her down I'd consider you the stupidest guy on earth...