Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Lesbosphere expands

We all know about the blogosphere. Well welcome to the lesbosphere. Seems Melissa Etheridge’s partner and new mom Tammy Etheridge (formerly Tammy Lynn Michaels of “Popular” fame) has her very own blog. Much like fellow celebrity blogger Rosie O’Donnell, Tammy writes her posts largely in prose* verse. Geez, what is it with lesbians and poetry blogs? Her cover was blown yesterday when Perez Hilton publicized her site. While not completely anonymous (she writes about fame, her contempt for the paparazzi , being gay, her pregnancy, Melissa’s cancer), Tammy refers to the singer only as “Honey.” It can be an interesting read, but I fear now that her anonymity has been lost in such a big way (seriously, that dude gets crazy traffic), she won’t be as open and free with her thoughts. But then, if you don’t want to share your thoughts with the world, why start a blog?

*Indeed, as it was so astutely pointed out, "prose" was the wrong word to use here. Very good, you passed the vocabulary portion of this quiz. Next up, chemistry!

Happy Halloween

Happy All Hallow's Eve! I consider this the gayest of the holidays. Why, you ask? Well, when else do straight men dress like women and women dress like bosomy serving wenches? OK, that last part isn't particularly gay, but it does make for a nice mental image. Trick or treat, indeed.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Breaking up is hard to do

Just a daily reminder that relationships – gay, straight, whatever – are hard. Hollywood golden couple Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe announced their separation today. The news marks the third high-profile, long-term, seemingly-stable celebrity couple breakup this year. First Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe. Then Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson. And now Reese and Ryan. It is worth noting that in all these relationships, the woman was currently the more successful partner. All three ladies are A-list actresses. All three ladies had recently released movies. All three ladies had been nominated for (if not won, and for Hilary twice) Academy Awards. Do I spot a trend? Is a successful career woman simply too much for a less successful man to accept (as Forbes magazine so misogynistically suggested earlier this year)? Whatever, it is those fellas' loss. I always thought Ryan seemed too lightweight and pinup-y for a smart gal like Reese, anyway.

30 Rocks the lesbians

Wow, I’ve had 14 solid days of not being bombarded by what Paris Hilton is drinking/smoking/flashing, Nicole Richie is not eating and Kevin Federline is doing to fill each hour of each unemployed day. Bliss. Now, it’s back to the salt mines. Seems I missed a few lesbian-friendly tidbits while I was away.

Of these development, the lesbionic "30 Rock" episode was the most entertaining. Not only was it very funny, it was also very positive. No bisexual ice-pick wielding murderers or tired pregnancy storylines in sight. You can stream the whole episode on NBC now (up until Wednesday). Skip to Part Three if you must, but do yourself a favor watch the whole thing. You'll wish you had a “brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian” of your own.

UPDATE: I wanted to add a couple pictures from the episode, since it is no longer up at NBC, for your viewing pleasure.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

There's no place like home

I’m back. And, during my two weeks abroad, I made two salient if somewhat random observations.
  1. The effortlessness with which European women drape scarves around their necks and shoulders leaves all my efforts looking like a Boy Scout’s clumsy attempt at a knot-tying merit badge.
  2. When looking for ways to pass the time in public, it is always fun to play the “Is she a dyke or simply Dutch” game while watching the parade of short, spiky-haired middle aged women walk by.

Hope your last two weeks were equally eventful. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Les Vacances de Mademoiselle Snarker

Time for a holiday, this time across the pond. Kijk uit Europa! Check back here Oct. 30 for piping-fresh postings from a rested and rejuvenated Ms. Snarker, hopefully toting a little extra je ne sais quoi home in her suitcase. Arrivederci, lettori belli.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Come out, come out, wherever you are...

Happy National Coming Out Day. Wouldn't it be nice if, in a show of solidarity, all the closeted celebrities of the world proclaimed they were here, queer and ready for their close-up? A girl can dream.
UPDATE: Awww, you can even say it with flowers by sending a special Coming Out Day Bouquet.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sarah Smile

So, I’m starting to really love Sarah Paulson on Studio 60 and the Sunset Strip. How much? Well, I’m willing to overlook the fact that she plays a Christian conservative who willingly appeared on the 700 Club. Why? She is damn good. Intelligent. Nuanced. Quick-witted. Immensely likeable. You can see what Cherry Jones sees in her. I hope the show (which continues to impress after its knockout premiere) can find an audience. It, like Sarah, is intelligent, nuanced, quick-witted and immensely likeable. Plus it's nice to finally have an out actress in primetime, instead of forever stuck in the daytime chat cycle. But, perhaps most deliciously, it has got to chap the Religious Right's ass that a gay woman is playing a sympathetic evangelical Christian on TV. That must just blow their crazy little minds.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Judge this

Who works the judges robes better? Judge Judy? Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Or Judge I've-Gone-Insane-Since-My-Divorce Jessica Simpson. Tough call. A hung jury, perhaps?

Friday, October 06, 2006

My Weekend Crush

I would marry Kate Winslet in a second if she’d have me. No, make that a nanosecond. She is practically perfect. A brilliant actress who picks great roles. A beautiful woman who believes you should never skip dessert. A class act who still fancies a dirty joke. A famous person who acts like a normal person. Funny. Smart. English. Hell, she has even enthralled those adorably snarky Fug Girls. Kate, if you ever want to leave your Oscar-winning husband, call me. Happy weekend, all.

Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vittles...

Good lord. My brain has completely stopped working. It's like the great Salma-Penelope explosion of July. Only, so much more naughty. How do you make the recently crowned Sexiest Woman Alive even sexier? Well, add another woman, of course. Scarlett Johansson and burlesque star Dita Von Teese get their kinky on for the October 2006 issue of Flaunt Magazine. I'm going to need a moment to compose myself. Talk amongst yourselves. And, if you think you can take it, see the full set here.

Top that, chef

I thought I'd share a couple screenshots of lesbian contestant Josie Smith-Malave and her "better half" Caitlin from the season two premiere of Top Chef. The Brooklyn resident was open about her girlfriend in her audition tape, so producers are clearly aware of her sexuality. Let's see how/if it shows up during the season. Top Chef premieres Oct. 18 on Bravo. Above, Josie channeling her inner Elvis. Below, her amused girlfriend. Bon appetit.

Kate the Great (Lesbian?)

So, I read over at AfterEllen that the new biography of Katharine Hepburn mentions her close relationships with other women. And by close, I mean lesbian. These companions included longtime friend Laura Harding (who described herself as "Miss Hepburn’s husband"), 40-year companion Phyllis Wilbourn and ABC news anchor Cynthia McFadden. Hmm, interesting. Now, I’m not sure I agree with writers sifting through the lives of dead celebrities to find dirt and make claims when the subjects aren’t around to refute or confirm them. But I will say that I have always greatly admired Ms. Hepburn. She has long been a favorite of mine for her independent spirit and propensity for wearing pants. If only people could just be themselves without the facades while they were alive. On a totally unrelated note, doesn’t Kate cut a dashing figure as a man? That is one handsome women.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Gay gal slices and dices on Top Chef

The Bravo series "Top Chef" has another gay gal in the kitchen. The second season of the hit reality show begins airing Oct. 18 and among the 15 contestants will be sous chef Josie Smith-Malave. The Miami native and Brooklyn resident comes out, nonchalantly, in the premiere episode when she casually introduces her girlfriend. In her official Bravo bio, the 31-year-old is noted for her " loud personality, wild clothing and 'out-there' demeanor." She works as a sous chef at Marlow & Sons in Brooklyn and has a degree from the Art Institute of New York. She also plays on the NY Sharks women's tackle football team. Roar! After watching the first two episodes I can tell you that the cute, punky Josie seems smart, spunky, extremely capable and not nearly as bitchy as last season's bisexual contestant Tiffani. I'm looking forward to seeing what Josie cooks up this season.

UPDATE: Behold, the power of Google. A quick search on Josie turned up a few more tidbits on our lady-loving lady chef. She is an aspiring performer who can speak Italian and Spanish, does voice work and emcees a monthly event called Playoffs, a one-act playwriting/acting slam competition held at the Bowery Poetry Club in NYC. Read her Playoffs bio here and find more pictures of her in the gallery. Hey, it's not stalking. It's research...

Women of a certain age rock

So, Susan Sarandon's 60th birthday yesterday got me thinking. We all know that Hollywood tends to treats women of a certain age as if they were invisible (or a potato sack...you decide which is better). But that doesn't mean we in the real world have to drink the Kool-Aid. Quite the contrary, I think we're in the midst of a renaissance of sexy sexagenarians. Consider these five lovely ladies, all over 60, all doing great work. And, might I add, looking damn good. Witness the above irrefutable photographic evidence (click to enlarge), all taken within the last year: Catherine Deneuve (62), Jacqueline Bisset (62), Helen Mirren (61), Diane Keaton (60) and Susan Sarandon (60). With age, comes wisdom. And with wisdom, often comes great beauty. Rock on ladies.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Fair and Balanced my ass

Hey Fox News, what do you do when one of your own bosom-buddy Republicans is caught doing something very, very, very wrong? Well, turn him into a Democrat! Sleazebag congressman Mark Foley miraculously changed parties on The O'Reilly Factor last night. For the most part, I've ceased to be surprised by Fox's inexcusably unfair and unbalanced reporting. But every now and then they slip in an audacious one like this. Unbe-fucking-lievable.

Sixty is the new sexy

Happy 60th birthday Susan Sarandon! Damn, girl, you look amazing. If I look even half that good at 60, I will consider myself a major success. Hell, I wish I looked half that good now. There just aren't enough complementary adjectives to describe how truly fabulous you are. Rocky Horror Picture Show, Bull Durham, Thelma & Louise... All that and you got to make out with Catherine Deneuve. And you're with a man 12-years your junior. Bravo. Bravo indeed.

A Rosie by any other name

You know what? I think I was wrong about Rosie O’Donnell spoiling The View. In fact, I’m going to take it one step further and say I’m really happy she has joined the cast. I had forgotten how at ease she is in front of the camera. And how funny she can be. More importantly, I had forgotten how cool it was to have an out, opinionated, acerbic woman on TV. Oh wait, she wasn’t out before when she was on TV. Anyway, now that she has fully embraced her big-mouthed butch broad role, I’m really digging her. She was also really, really good on her guest spot on Nip/Tuck last night, with a sex scene to boot. Keep on keeping on, Rosie. Though I'm still not sure about your abstract haiku blog. But whatever, welcome back.

UPDATE: Here is The Scene. I had her pegged as a talker, too.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Go south, young woman...

So I watch “South of Nowhere.” Yes, I realize this is a show about high schoolers. Yes, I realize it is on a channel called The N. Yes, I realize both these things would indicate that this show is aimed at teens and younger. Yes, I realize I am nowhere near my teens. So shoot me with a perv gun. Why do I watch? Two words: teenage lesbians* (did I mentioned the perv gun?) Actually, the show is fairly smart, if overly packed with teen Drama (capital D). It started its second season on Friday and you can read a hilarious recap over at AfterEllen. Watching the premiere made me realize how rare it still is, even in the 21st Century, to find shows where the lesbian storyline is the main storyline. Usually we're relegated to supportive best friend or peripheral professional colleague land. So three cheers for teenage lesbians! Now let's see how many hits typing "teenage lesbians" gets me.

EDITOR'S NOTE: In my defense, the actresses playing the comely teenage lesbians are 20 and 22, respectively. So put away the handcuffs... Wait, let me rethink that...

Monday, October 02, 2006

See Clea run, see Clea shoot

Hey, I didn't realize Clea DuVall was on the new show “Heroes.” She plays a detective or federal agent or something in the cop milieu on the supernatural drama. Nothing much more to say except I’ve had a bit of a crush on her since “But I’m a Cheerleader.” She is (unofficially) out, à la Jorja Fox. I was happy when she was gainfully employed on “Carnivàle,” and now I'm happy to see she has a new gig. I wasn't sure if I was going to keep watching the series, but now I might stay tuned for a little while longer. You know how I like girls with guns.

Separated by Dynamite

So, call me crazy, but don’t Jon Heder and James Blunt look like long-lost brothers? It's as if they were twins separated at birth. Then, one was sent to sensitive singer-songwriter school and the other was shipped off to the dork farm. Now, all these years later, they were reunited through their shared love of hoodies. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Gosh!